Hypocrites ... With illustrations by René

Front matter

HYPOCRITES. HYPOCRITES. BY HUGH COLEMAN DAVIDSON, AUTHOR OF "THE OLD ADAM," "THE GREEN HILLS BY THE SEA," ETC. "WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY BENE. LONDON: SAMPSON LOW, MARSTON & COMPANY LIMITED, j&t. 29ungtan'g f^oust, Fetter Lane, Fleet Street, E.C. 1892. [All rights reserved.] LONDON : PRINTED BY WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED,. STAMFORD STREET AND CHARING CROSS. CONTENTS. HAPTEK PAGE I. Borrowed Plumes ... ... 1 II. Jealous! ... ... ... 26 III. A Birthday Present ... ... 43 IV. Tom's Diary ... ... 62 V. Jack's Diplomacy ... ... 81 VI. The Kleptomaniacs ... ... 101 VII. At the Police-station ... ... 131 VIII. A Chance for Maria ... 146 IX. Mrs. Gadby's Visit ... ... 168 X. Uncle Joe and the Widow ... 187 XI. Kitty hears her Doom ... ... 212 XII. Uncle Joe escapes from the Widow AND TURNS COOK ... ... 232 XIII.

The Widow storms the Island 253 XIV. Kitty's Good-bye ... ... 276 Epilogue ... ... ... HYPOCRITES. CHAPTEE I. BOEEOWED PLUMES. " Mb. Waeden, sir, says he is very sorry, but he has lost his clothes." Tom Pickering was reading by the fire side in his study. When he heard this strange announcement, he dropped his newspaper, and stared at the man-servant in amazement. " Lost his clothes, Pratt ! " he ex claimed. " Where did he lose them ? " "After brushing them, sir," answered Pratt, a stout, grey-whiskered man, with a crooked mouth which gave him a comical expression, often when he never intended it. "I put them in a heap in ty b HYPOCRITES. the bath-room to be ready for him to put on. But when Mr. Warden come to look for them, they was gone." "Oh, nonsense; you must have put them somewhere else.

Have you looked about his room, and on the landing ? " " I don't know where I haven't looked, sir," said Pratt ruefully. "Them clothes ain't nowhere. And Mr. Warden, sir, he says he'd be much obliged if you'd lend him a suit of yours — the biggest you've got. And he particularly doesn't want a word said to the missus, or Miss Kitty." "But why not?' " That's what he said, sh-. He didn't give no reason. But I have a notion he is more particular about Miss Kitty's not knowing than about the missus." Tom looked at him thoughtfully for a few moments, and then burst out with — "But, bless my soul, I have no suit to fit Mr. Warden. He would fill two of mine. Well, I suppose you must take him the grey suit. Tell him it is new, and he must make himself as small as he can." Pratt, with a very queer look, one corner of his mouth being drawn up even higher than usual, went out and closed the door.

Chapter II. Jealous

! That evening, as the two sisters went upstairs to bed, they were unusually silent. There was a table on the landing op posite the stairs, and a couch close by ; palms stood about in large pots ; a hang ing lamp cast a soft light upon the rich carpet and luxurious curtains. Maria's room was at the end of the passage on the left. At the door she stopped, and said — " Oh, I must tell you something, Kitty. I have a little present for Jack for to-morrow." " For his birthday ! Oh, Maria, that is good of you. What is it? Do tell me ? " "A gold watch. Now that he is an JEALOUS ! 27 engaged man, I thought it time he gave up wearing a silver one. It does not go very well with a gold chain, does it ? There is a sort of sham about it." " Oh, not a sham," said Kitty. " Of course, a gold chain looks better than a silver one ; but Jack would never countenance a sham, I am sure."

At this moment Jack himself, creeping quietly up the stairs, peeped round the corner. He kept out of sight until the two had said good night to one another, Maria entering her own room, while Kitty walked back to her own door. Then he called softly — "Kitty." At the sound of his voice she started, and, with a saucy look, yet blushing, advanced to meet him. " I thought you were smoking down stairs," said she. "What do you want ? We have said good night." " Not properly, though," answered Jack. " How could we say it properly before that old curmudgeon ? " HYPOCRITES. "Uncle Joe is not a curmudgeon," said Kitty stoutly. "He is a very nice old man." " Old! " repeated Jack, with his nose in the air. " I should think he was old. He is old enough to be your grand father." " Don't be so cantankerous, Jack.

He is not a bit old. He is quite young as men go." " Why, Kitty, you just called him old yourself. I don't ask much ; but I do like a httle consistency." "Yes," returned she, not in the least abashed ; " but I did not call him old in the sense you did." "What sense was that ? " " Eeally, Jack, how ridiculous you are ! You are the most unreasonable person I ever met. You are angry now because I give you credit for some sense." " No, no, not for some sense, but for a particular sense. We were talking about that old " " What is the matter with you ? " iu- JEALOUS ! 29 terrupted Kitty. " Surely you are not jealous of Uncle Joe ? " " That is the last thing in the world I should think of being," answered Jack scornfully. "Jealous, indeed! Of Uncle Joe, too ! I wonder what you will say next ? But I think I have a right to be indignant — justly indignant, Kitty — when you are always kissing his head."

" You would not have me kiss his toe, would you ? " laughed Kitty. "Now you are frivolous, Kitty," said Jack severely. "If you really cared for me, you would be more serious, for it is a serious matter. I don't think you have any right to kiss him at all." " What, may not I kiss my uncle ? " " A sister's-husband's-father's-brother in-law is not much of an uncle," said Jack grimly. "You have got it all pat, Jack," said Kitty, laughing again. " Sister's — father's — husband's No, that isn't it. Say it again. I want something nice and short to call Uncle Joe." HYPOCRITES. " Something nice because he is rich, I suppose? " " Jack ! " She looked at him with deep reproach. " That is not like you. If I didn't know you were not yourself to day, I should be angry — and I can be angry when I choose. Am I not rich too, Jack ?

" she asked tenderly. " Eich in having you ? " Penitent all of a sudden, he caught her hand. "Forgive me, Kitty, my pet," he said. "I am a brute! I am the most jealous brute in the world ! " "Not jealous, Jack, if I remember rightly," said she slyly. " Yes ; confound it, I am jealous ! " " Oh, you are jealous, are you ? I don't ask much, Jack ; but I do like a little consistency." " You can't expect a fellow to be downright consistent," he urged rather sheepishly, " when he is out of temper." "No, perhaps not," said she, with mock gravity. " But, of course, it is not of Uncle Joe you are jealous ? " JEALOUS ! 31 " Well, no, hardly of Uncle Joe. Jealous in a general sort of way, you know." Happening to look up he caught her laughing, and in a moment he was laughing too. " Oh, you little rogue !

" he cried, and bent forward to kiss her. But she escaped from him. "No, no," she said; "you are not yourself. That is what you told me. It may be catching." "I am quite well. Upon my honour, I am. Listen, Kitty ; I want to tell you something. I wore that rug because " "You were suffering from 'a tightness of the chest — a sort of general tightness.' Because you ' could not move a limb.' In fact, because you were ' in a desperate way,' Jack." " No, no, Kitty ; that was all a joke." " A joke ! Then you tried to gain my pity by false pretences." And she pre tended to pout. "I am angry with you now." HYPOCRITES. "But listen to me." " No ; I don't want to hear you. I am angry." " But do let me tell you," he persisted. " I have been longing to tell you. I wore that rug because I had on a suit of Tom's, and it did not fit very well."

" A suit of Tom's ! " But the words were no sooner uttered than she recol lected she ought to appear indifferent. " Did not I say I did not care to hear ? It has nothing to do with me." Then she waited, and, as he did not speak, exclaimed, " Eeally, Jack, how provoking you are ! Why don't you go on ? Your own clothes were on the table ; why did not you wear them ? " " Because they had only just been found. They had disappeared in some strange way, and so had Major Trotter's. But I was more fortunate than he was, for his watch was gone." "Stolen!" s:.id Kitty, with a little gasp. " Uncle Joe's watch stolen ! Who stole it?" Jealous ! 33 " That is what we have to find out/' he answered. The sound of footsteps in the hall made them both turn round. " Oh, my goodness, here are Tom and Uncle Joe !

" cried Kitty. " Good night, Jack." And she hastened towards her room. "Kitty, Kitty, come back," he called, going after her a few paces. " Say good night properly." " Good night, Jack," she said, laughing and curtsying at her door. The next moment she was gone. Jack had no time to escape into his own room, so with a careless air he walked back towards the stairs, which the other two were now ascending. Both looked sur prised to see him. "Not in bed yet!" exclaimed Tom. " I thought you were so frightfully sleepy." " So I was, old chap," replied Jack, with a yawn ; " but the stairs rather woke me up. A fellow must open his eyes to D HYPOCRITES. get upstairs, you know. Are you going to lock your door to-night, Major ? " "Why should I?" demanded Uncle Joe. " To keep the thief out." " Keep him out !

I want him to come in. I want to catch him. And, dash it, I will catch him," said Uncle Joe, with a look of as much severity as if he took Jack to be the thief. The two had never managed to hit it off together, and their presence in the house on this occasion was merely acci dental. Uncle Joe, who owned a com fortable estate in one of the Midland counties, had run up to town for the day, but had been prevailed upon to stay the night : an unfortunate event, as it happened, for it had resulted in the loss of his watch. Jack Warden at an after noon call had been invited to dinner, and as he lived in Chelsea, there really was no excuse for his not returning there afterwards. Kitty, no doubt, was the cause of this prolonged absence from his jealous ! 35 Work, if indeed he could be said to do serious work in his studio, for he was an artist by profession, an artist of con siderable promise, but of small achieve ment.

Among the severest of his critics was Uncle Joe, at whom he affected to laugh, his especial source of merriment being the military airs which the old gentleman gave himself on the strength of a majority in the volunteers. Nevertheless, he rather dreaded the caustic tongue which told a hard, blunt fact in the fewest possible words. Uncle Joe, for his part, thought Jack conceited, shallow, and pretentious ; he did not believe in the young man's talk about the future ; he wanted to see some thing done in the present ; he openly said, that an artist with his way to make in the world had no right to get engaged. Kitty had tried hard to re concile the two, but so far with very indifferent success, each being apparently determined to see nothing but what HYPOCRITES. was bad in the other. She still hoped, however, to make them change their views.

Such was the position on the night after the disappearance of the watch, Uncle Joe having deferred his return in the hope of recovering his property. Some little time after entering his bed room he heard, or fancied he heard, somebody moving stealthily along the passage. He cried out sharply, " Who is that?" but got no answer. This aroused his suspicions. Arrayed in a gaudy dressing-gown of Tom's, he went cautiously outside and peered about. He could not see anybody, and the sound had ceased. Not satisfied yet, he ap proached the landing where the lamp was still burning, though dimly. And now a Hght moving in the hall attracted his notice. But before he had time to reason about the circumstances, Kitty, with a candle in her hand, came running up the stairs. Here was an awkward business. Uncle Joe, ashamed JEALOUS ! 37 of his costume, made a dash for the curtains close by the table.

But Kitty saw the top of his bald head and the tail of his dressing-gown just as he was disappearing. " What, Uncle Joe ! " she cried. " Be quiet, Kitty," said he, frantically waving his hand out. " But, Uncle Joe ! Oh, my goodness ! I declare I shall die from laughing. Whom are you hiding from ? " " Now, Kitty, don't laugh," said Uncle Joe. " I won't stand it. I don't laugh at you. Why can't you be serious ? " "So I am, dear," said she, trying to compose her pretty features. She placed her candle on the table and a small parcel loosely wrapped in tissue paper by the side of it. " There now, I am quite solemn." "You are laughing the whole time. I see it in your eyes. How dare you laugh at your uncle, you minx ? " Then Kitty, mimicking Jack, said, HYPOCRITES. " A sister's-husband's-father's-brother-in law isn't much of an uncle."

" I'm not much of an uncle ! " said he, coming out from the curtain. " Yes, yes, you are — a dear old uncle. Come now, we will really be solemn this time. What were you prowling about for ? " She laid a dainty Httle hand upon his arm and looked earnestly into his queer old wrinkled face. " My watch has been stolen, you know. So when I heard sounds outside, I thought the thief might be about again. Why, Kitty," he exclaimed, gazing at her with sudden concern, " how you tremble, child ! What is it ? Have I frightened you ? " She had started back and was standing with her hands clasped, and an expression of pain in her white face. " No, not frightened me," said she, in a low voice. " Then, tell me, what is the matter ? " For one moment it seemed as if she was about to confide in him. But JEALOUS ! 39 happening to look round the corner, she caught sight of Jack's head at his own door.

It was evident that he had heard talking, and was coming to ascertain what it was about. In an instant Kitty was her saucy self again. " Spying, is he ! " said she. " I will just teach Master Jack a lesson." Then she turned eagerly to Uncle Joe and whispered, " Uncle, will you please do something for me ? Will you hide be hind the curtain again ? Just for a moment ? " Uncle Joe stoutly protested that he would do nothing of the sort. But Kitty was not to be denied. " Now don't be cantankerous, there's a dear," said she. And what with coax ing and pushing she actually succeeded in getting the old man to retire behind the curtain again. But just as she thought he was safely out of sight, he popped his head out and asked — " Am I cantankerous now, Kitty ? " "No, no, uncle. But do be quiet," HYPOCRITES. she answered, dragging the curtain in front of his face.

She had only just time to turn, when Jack came cautiously round the corner. "What, you here, Kitty!" he ex claimed. Then he looked round sus piciously. "What are you doing here ? " " Waiting for you, Jack," she rephed saucily. " Oh, come now, that is not true " And that is not polite." "Isn't it? That is strange too, for I have been taking lessons in politeness from Uncle Joe." " And he has not proved as good an instructor as Lord Fairfield?" said she mischievously, for Jack was very fond of a title. But he had noticed the parcel lying on the table. He took it up, and, before she could stop him, had opened the paper. "Hullo, what is this?" he said. " Uncle Joe's watch ? " "No, it isn't," said Kitty, snatching it away from him and holding it behind her. HYPOCRITES. " It looked very like it," said Jack doubtfully.

" Whose watch is it ? " " Mind your own business, Jack." "You were talking to somebody just before I came," said he, after a pause. "I heard voices distinctly. Who was it?" " Suppose I say Uncle Joe." " I beheve it was," he declared angrily. " Where is the old sneak, now ? Skulk ing about somewhere, I'll be bound." "Hush, Jack, hush!" cried Kitty, trying to put her hand before his mouth. " I know you don't mean it." " But I do. He is a cantankerous- By Jove!" The curtain had been drawn aside, and there stood Uncle Joe in his dressing gown.

Chapter III

A BIETHDAY PEESENT. Kitty was downstairs early next morning. She was most anxious, for one thing, to see Maria alone. There was a matter of the most pressing importance which she felt ought to be settled at once, and though the task was an exceedingly delicate one, she had made up her mind to undertake it. She also wished to have an opportunity of speaking privately to Jack and Uncle Joe before they met, and of trying to remove the unpleasant ness caused by the catastrophe of the previous night — a catastrophe for which she bitterly blamed herself. But all her little plans were frustrated, for Tom was the first person to appear, and he was HYPOCRITES. shortly afterwards followed by Uncle Joe and Maria together. As was the custom in the house, they sat down to breakfast without waiting for Jack.

Beneath his plate Kitty had hidden Maria's present, her own having been given to him quite a week before. The watch had been in her custody all night, but by the exercise of severe self-re straint, she had not yet looked at it, as she wished to share that pleasure with her lover. With regard to the way in which it had come into her possession, Maria had left it in the drawing-room when she went to bed, and upon recol lecting it, had asked her sister to fetch it. This was the errand which took Kitty downstairs, and brought Uncle Joe out after her, with the disastrous result which we have just seen. Uncle Joe was very grumpy at breakfast. He took no part in the conversa tion, and returned short answers when spoken to. It was plain that prowling about at night in a dressing-gown had A BIRTflDAY PBESENT.

Hot agreed with him, for he had several fits of sneezing. Kitty was the only person who did not give way to his moods. " You caught more than a thief last night, uncle," said she mischievously. " You caught a cold." " Be quiet, Kitty," said he "He is very bad this morning, poor dear," said she, turning to Maria. " Old gentlemen usually are when they go hiding " "It is too bad of you," interrupted Uncle Joe. " Much too bad," assented Tom. " She is a httle nuisance." "No, she isn't," snapped out Uncle Joe. " Don't you dare to speak ill of her, Tom. I won't hear a word against her." " I was not speaking ill of her," said Tom, with rather a wry face. " I only thought she was teasing you too much." " No, she wasn't. I like it. I like to be teased by Kitty. Nobody teases me but her. Nobody " He stopped HYPOCRITES. abruptly, seized an egg, and attacked it with vigour.

Tom laughed "Well, Kitty," said he, "when you want a tenner, you will know where to go for it. But you had better look sharp, for Uncle Joe says he is off this morning." "You are not going to-day, Uncle Joe ! " cried the two sisters at once. "Yes, I am. You won't catch me staying here any longer. Have not I lost my watch already ? " "But we don't want to lose you, uncle," said Maria. " I won't stay, I tell you, Maria. I'll go to my Club." It was the shghtest suspicion of a smile that flickered into his eyes as he added, " I won't lose more than my umbrella there." At this moment Jack Warden entered, a great, tall, handsome fellow, who tried to cover his embarrassment with a careless smile and a heartiness of tone more pronounced than usual. But it was all too much overdone to be genuine, and the restlessness of his glance would alone have betrayed him.

He had hoped to escape this ordeal, but urgent messages had been sent up to him by Pratt, and so he had been obliged to abandon his intention of absenting himself from the breakfast-table. In spite of Kitty's brave efforts to set him at ease, he was very glad to reach his seat. Then his eyes fell upon the plate turned upside down. " Hullo!" he exclaimed. " What have we here ? " He raised the plate with one hand, and with the other opened the tissue paper. " A gold watch ! " Uncle Joe, rising slightly from his chair, stared in speechless bewilderment across the table. Although his sight was not as good as it used to be, it was still good enough to enable him to recognize his own watch, the one which had been stolen from his pocket. The other three who were seated at the table recognized it also, and the faces of two at least — HYPOCRITES.

Kitty and Tom — showed plainly their consternation. "Is it a birthday present?" asked Jack, vaguely feeling there was some thing wrong, but prevented by the position of the watch, and the obvious inten tion from suspecting the truth. " Whom is it from ? " Kitty who had been sitting with crimson face and downcast eyes, looked up with an an of desperation, and at the same instant Uncle Joe dropped back into his chair, and riveting his gaze upon his plate, seemed to have become absorbed in his breakfast. It was as if he had guessed her intention, and was determined not to add to her embarrass ment. " Can't you guess whom it is from, Jack? " she asked. " From you, Kitty ? " he exclaimed with delight. "It is a beautiful watch — a grand watch — a splendid present. I will wear it next my heart." "Wear my watch next his heart, will he !

" was Uncle Joe's mental comment. " That is very tender of him." " And I will never part with it as long as I live." " We will see about that," thought Uncle Joe. " Does it go, Kitty ? " asked Jack playfully, putting the watch to his ear. This was too much for Uncle Joe, in spite of his resolutions. "Go, sir!" he broke out. "It's the best timekeeper in London." " Is it ! " said Jack, with scorn. " And pray, Major Trotter, what do you know about it ? " " Well, I ought to know," answered Uncle Joe gruffly. " Why ought you to know ? You did not buy it." Yet was not this possible ? The watch was no doubt the one which he had seen in Kitty's possession on the previous night. In all probability, then, she had asked the Major to buy it for her, and he gave it to her when they met upon E the landing.

But this explanation which Jack had stumbled upon by accident, only aroused his jealousy anew. He awaited the answer with angry suspicion. Kitty, however, had her own reasons for determining that the answer should not be given if she could help it. She had gone swiftly round the table, and with an agonized look was whispering — "Be quiet, uncle, there's a dear." " A fellow can't have his bit of fun without being snapped up," said Jack to Tom. " I know the watch goes. Did not Kitty give it to me ? " " Oh yes," said Uncle Joe, peeping round Kitty, "you will find it will go soon enough." "Oh, uncle, do be quiet," she entreated. " Why do you keep on quarrelling with Jack ? Why won't you quarrel with me?" " That is just what I can't make out," he answered, looking up wonderingly into the pretty face.

But when he saw the tears in the blue eyes, he sprang up, HYPOCRITES. saying, " There, there, child, I'll go. I am only in the way here. It must be getting late." Instinctively he felt in his pocket, and then a comical look came into his face as he realized that his watch had passed to another. "I say, sir," he called out, "what is the time by my — by your gold watch ? " " It has stopped," answered Jack. coldly. " Stopped ! " roared Uncle Joe. " It never did such a thing." " Oh, uncle ! " said Kitty piteously. " What was that ? " asked Jack. " I say I won't stop," cried Uncle Joe, blustering and gesticulating to hide his extreme confusion. " Why should I stop ? I have had my breakfast. Isn't that enough? I will go and get my bag." And without turning his head he hurried out. Kitty and Maria simultaneously went after him, both anxious to induce him to stay.

The elder sister was calm and self-possessed as usual, but her abstracted look was gone. It was plain that she was interested, though not to the same extent as Kitty, whose agitation had outgrown the possibility of concealment. All this time Tom, sitting silently at one end of the table, was undergoing a severe mental struggle. The dreadful truth of which he had just received a practical demonstration, was by ho means new to him ; he had been aware of it for some time. But he had been able to evade it before ; he had not been com pelled to recognize it openly, and had therefore pretended not to know it ; he had hoped for a change for the better without any intervention on his part. Now, however, some sort of action was forced upon him. He watched Jack open the door for the two ladies, pour out some coffee, and take his seat at the table, but he never spoke a word.

Although he was in the habit of treating with small consideration the artist whose position he considered inferior to his own, he was in difficulties HYPOCRITES. now about addressing him. At length he stammered out — "I say, Jack, I am going to ask you to do something for me. It is a great favour, old chap ; but I know you will do it. I want you to give me that watch." " Give you my watch! " gasped Jack, sitting back in his chair. " Kitty's watch ! What do you take me for ? " " But, don't you see, she has made a mistake. She has given you the wrong watch." "Did she buy two watches, then? Whom was the other for ? " " No, no ; she had only one. But it is a mistake. Don't you understand ? " " No, I don't." "Bless my soul, what a duffer you are ! " said Tom, getting very hot over it. " I thought I had explained it so clearly.

I can't go all over it again. But you can rely upon me to make it right. You can trust me, I suppose ? " " Not with Kitty's watch," said Jack, shaking his head. "No, no, Tom; that is too much to expect." " But you shall have the proper one instead — the present really meant for you. Kitty shall give it to you herself. Here she is ! " Although they had not held any com munication on the subject, there seemed to be a tacit understanding between Tom and Kitty. Holding the door ajar, so that the voices in the hall were distinctly audible, she gave him a look of mute appeal, and he rose at once. " Is Uncle Joe really going ? " he asked. " I must see if I can't persuade him to stay." And he hastened out, closing the door after him. But now that Kitty had got her wish to be alone with Jack for a few moments, she was strangely nervous and ill at ease.