Half round the world for a Husband. A comedy of errors

Front matter

HALF ROUND THE WORLD FOR A HUSBAND a Novels at 6s. each EFFIE HETHERINGTON. By Robert Buchanan. 2nd Edition. A WINNING HAZARD. By Mrs Alexander. AN OUTCAST OF THE ISLANDS. By Joseph Conrad. 2nd Edition. ALMAYER'S FOLLY. By Joseph Conrad. THE EBBING OF THE TIDE. By Louis Becke. A FIRST FLEET FAMILY. By Louis Becke and Walter Jeffery PADDY'S WOMAN, and Other Stories. By Humphrey James. CLARA HOPGOOD. By Mark Rutherford. THE TALES OF JOHN OLIVER HOBBES. Portrait of the Author. 2nd Edition. THE STICKIT MINISTER. By S. R. Crockett. nth Edition. THE LILAC SUNBONNET. By S. R. Crockett. 6th Edition. THE RAIDERS. By S. R. Crockett. 8th Edition. THE GREY MAN. By S. R. Crockett. IN A MAN'S MIND. By John Reay Watson. A DAUGHTER OF THE FEN. By J. T. Bealby. THE HERB MOON. By John Oliver Hobbes. NANCY NOON.

By Benjamin Swift. London : T. FISHER UNWIN. Half Round the World For a Husband A COMEDY OF ERRORS BY MAY CROMMELIN yy AUTHOR OF 'BAY RONALD,' 'ORANGE LILY,' 'GOBLIN GOLD,' ' BROWN-EYES,' ' MR AND MRS HERRIES,' ETC. UnnUcitt T. FISHER UNWIN PATERNOSTER SQUARE [All rights reserved.] TO THE Honourable FRANCIS and Mrs PAKENHAM IN MEMORY OF A HAPPY MONTH AT THE LEGATION IN BUENOS AYRES CONTENTS CHAP. PAGE I. A MIDNIGHT PLOT, ..... I II. A PROXY WEDDING, ..... 12 III. THE FINGER OF FATE POINTS SEAWARDS, . . 19 IV. MISS OR MADAM? . . . . . 3 1 V. OVER THE SEA AND FAR AWAY, . ■ • 39 VI. IN THE BAY OF BISCAY, O ! . . . . 47 VII. SAILING OVER SUNLIT SEAS, .... 58 VIII. IN THE DOLDRUMS, ..... 74 IX. 'SWEET PHOSPHIR, BRING THE DAY,' . . 84 X. GLIMPSES OF FOUR REPUBLICS AND LOVE GLEAMS IN TWO EYES, ..... 98 XI.

THE DREADFUL DON, ..... 108 XII. A GARDEN OF EDEN, . . . . . 119 XIII. ON THE OTHER SIDE, . . . . . 132 XIV. AMONG THE WARM-HEARTED WEST-COASTERS, . 140 XV. A MIDNIGHT SHOCK, . . . . .153 XVI. A PAPERCHASE IN CHILI, .... 164 XVII. HARE AND HOUNDS, . . . . . I70 XVIII. NEWS BY THE MOUNTAIN MAIL, . . . 1 79 XIX. SOMETHING LIKE A COUNTRY HOUSE, . . 184 XX. AN AUTUMN MAY MORNING, . . . 198 CONTENTS PAGE XXI. A 'TREMENDOUS' TRIP, .... 207 XXII. THE CLIMAX, ...... 214 XXIII. DULL DAYS IN WINTRY JUNE, . . . 221 XXIV. A SUN-GOD AND A SUNFLOWER, . . . 23O XXV. THE LAST RIDE TOGETHER, .... 24I XXVI. TO PART AND LIVE — THERE, THERE'S THE TORMENT ! 249 XXVII. THE SHRIEK OF THE SIREN, .... 258 XXVIII. THE LAND OF THE SUN, .... 273 XXIX. ON THE TRACK OF THE PIRATES, . . . 285 xxx. ' i'll jump with you overboard,' . . 295 XXXI.

Chapter I

A MIDNIGHT PLOT t ONE night, towards the end of January, two girls were seated in a bare, chilly room, crouching over the embers of a dying fire. Both were of the same age, about eighteen years old ; and each, though without any relationship, bore a striking resemblance to the other. Both damsels had dark wavy hair and dark eyes ; they were large of build and had the fresh red and white colours of a spring posy. One had clasped her arms round her knees, her head bowed in a tragic attitude. The other lay stretched in a classical, but comfortable, position on the hearthrug, alternately trying to warm her chilled hands and stifling yawns. Presently the first girl threw up her head and uttered, — ' I don't believe there is a more miserable creature alive than I am.' A She was a plump beauty with a face made for mirth, and eyes as bright as black diamonds. 'You may think so, but I know I am feeling more wretched,' echoed her companion emphatically This one's eyes were like black suns, and her face was sensitively moulded to express many emotions.

At this moment a smile curved the Cupid's bow of her cherry lips that quivered notwithstanding, as if a sob might follow. 'Ann!' ' Anita ! ! ' The first girl spoke with a soft, Spanish accent ; for though of Scotch ancestry, she was foreign by birth. But the other echoed with the faintest brogue imaginable, which some people thought delightful ; and she, though Irish by birth, had the look of a daughter of Castile. ' What can be worse than to be parting from one's lover — from the man I adore with all my soul?' cried Anita. ' It is a great thing to have a lover at all. Now, I may never get the chance of one.' ' But to marry an old man ! At my age to be tied to him for life. Ugh ! the beast ! Beauty and the beast ! You at least will have your liberty.' ' I don't know. Aunt Barbara is a stern old spinster, not at all likely to give liberty to anyone under her roof, especially when I am dependent upon her generosity for every crust I swallow.' ' Oh ! to think I must sail in three days out there."

Anita seized the poker, and made a vicious dab at the atlas on the wall, somewhere about the shank of the leg of mutton illustrating South America. ' And that — all that will be foaming and seething between me and my best friend.' Ann gave a twirl to the globe, her hand outlining half of its surface, the Atlantic Ocean downwards to the Southern New World, with a gesture of dismay. ' Oh, Ann ! ' ' Oh, Anita ! ! ' ' O-o-o-o-oh ! ' They flung their arms round each other's necks, and burst out crying in this sisterly embrace. ' Well, that does one good at all events,' said Ann, presently, breaking off and wiping her eyes, after the enjoyment of her woe. ' I am so hungry ! What wretched suppers those old mistresses do give us, now that school is broken up. Miss Wise should be ashamed of her meanness,' grumbled Anita. ' Come, we are guests, remember, and one should not look a gift horse in the mouth.

After all, as Miss Wise, poor soul, has influenza, she can't be expected to see after the housekeeping; and Miss Ward is so blind the cook might give her lard for butter,' put in Ann, deprecatingly. Then with a reflective air, 'Certainly our cutlets were about the size of commas this evening. I felt like eating a punctuation lesson. I say, Anita, has it ever struck you why they put little frills of white paper on the ends of the cutlets ? It must have been from an old custom of taking them in one's fingers to pick them. I guessed that to-night, when I wanted to suck my bone, to get the very last off it' ' Why, of course ! That is how one ought to eat chicken bones,' replied Anita, absently, searching in the depths of a satin bag, apparently containing embroidery. From this she produced two jam puffs and some chocolate cakes, which both girls proceeded to munch as slowly as possible, with an instinct that the feast would seem the more satisfying. ' Then it is so hard that the ship leaves this week, and not one of the girls will be back to see me married.' • ' Except me,' interposed Ann, with slight reproach. ' Oh, you dear thing ! of course.

Yes, it was sweet of you to come back from staying with Molly Hayes (though she's so stuck-up since she got the prize for good conduct last term ; not that I wanted it !). But you are such a darling, Ann, you always do just what I want.' Ann smothered a sigh. She was a homeless orphan these past years, for her aunt's house had been only a domestic prison, with afternoon exercise allowed along two flat roads between lonely, wide fields. So during many past holidays it was a deliverance from resigned dread when some school friend invited her to spend the whole vacation ; which nearly always happened, for Ann Montague was a general favourite. This was Ann's last term at school, indeed only for her own entreaties she would have been taken away sooner by her guardians. Now the fiat had gone forth that she was to live henceforth with her unmarried aunt, an only relation.

This evil day was deferred awhile by the visit to Molly Hayes, and it would have been prolonged but that Ann returned to school at Liverpool, on a few days' visit, to help Anita with her wedding outfit and to be her bridesmaid. The latter spent her holidays somewhat drearily as guest of the Misses Ward and Wise, principals of a well-known young ladies' seminary. She was not popular enough to be invited home by her schoolmates. ' How can you like that Chilian girl ? She's so sly, always making eyes at those young men cramming for the army at Captain Passmore's,' remarked Molly, primly, ' and she has such a vulgar name, too — Anita MacTague.' • I believe her family is considered very good out there, and the name is pronounced soft — Mactahway,' Ann gently observed. ' Oh ! Nan, you are always finding excuses for everybody.

Why, she must be descended from some Irish or Scotch mechanic, or shepherd, or a run-away sailor who drifted out there.' ' I am Irish myself, at least my father was, and I love Irish people,' cried Ann Montague, gaily. Both speakers were right. Anita's origin was, as Molly supposed, and her social position such as Nan stated. Many soldiers of fortune took themselves and their swords to South America after Waterloo days, when no more fighting was likely in Europe, but luck might be in store for them in the Spanish colonies over seas which were struggling for independ ence. Also various British mechanics, emigrating to Chili, 'the England of South America,' won their fortunes and wives of blue blood, thanks to their industry and good qualities, and have founded families notable for energy and wealth in the land. ' It seems a queer affair, my dear,' said Mrs Hayes, with an air of doubting the propriety of the whole business. ' And very un-English.

Your friend is to be married by proxy, it appears, to an old husband she has never seen. Poor girl ! What a sacrifice ! ' ' It is a family arrangement, which is not unusual, I believe. I have never heard Anita complain, and she was engaged nearly all last term,' Nan replied, with her usual liking to make the best of things. (It was only on returning from Hayes Hall that the good-natured girl learnt with dismay her friend's recent clandestine love-affair, with one of Captain Passmore's young men.) ' What can you expect when I was left all alone by my own self, and nobody else, these long days?' Anita indignantly explained, with a lively gesture of hands and shoulders, as who should say she was not to blame. And now the proxy wedding was to take place to-morrow evening. Anita's father had written direc tions that his daughter was to sail by the next steamer, the Yarrow, leaving Liverpool in four days' time.

The captain, who was commodore of the well known line of Pacific steamers, was to act as the bride's guardian, being an old friend of the MacTague family. He had his instructions to see Anita legally married — by proxy, and to bring her out, passage paid ; and Captain Goodman, as Anita well knew, would fulfil what he had undertaken. It was a terrible complication. ' What would you do in my place now ? ' burst out Anita, desperately, gulping down the last half of a jam tart. The action seemed unromantic, but her manner was deadly earnest. ' I think,' began Nan, very seriously, speaking slow, ' I do think that I should try to do my duty by my husband, if I were going out instead of you. One might grow contented in time, you know ; and possibly Don Edorado would be very kind. Old husbands generally are, they say.

Then his children might be good friends. Come, how old are they ? ' ' Oh, any age ! Why, think, he is quite old himself! ' pouted Anita. ' I wish with all my heart you were in my place. You are so docile, and sweet, and reasonable — ' She broke off suddenly, and a wicked flash leapt into her eyes. ' Ah ! I have an idea — ' 'Young ladies, it is nearly midnight. I must request you to go to your beds.' The figure of Miss Ward, the elderly schoolmistress, stood at the door, peering shortsightedly through her glasses. ' Good night, Miss MacTague,' as Anne rose with her British law-abiding instinct. ' Good-night, Miss Montague,' as Anita, gracefully stifling a yawn, followed. The old lady had mistaken the two girls. 'Splendid!' breathed Anita, excitedly, outside in the dark corridor, clapping Nan first on one shoulder then on the other, as she rapturously kissed her. ' She carries out my idea — glorious ! ' The next winter's morning, as it was still dark, Nan lay dreaming that Anita, her friend, was still patting her on the shoulder, when she awoke to find herself being thumped. ' Oh, Nan, wake up, do wake up ! ' Anita was shivering by the bedside, wrapped in a shawl, her black hair hanging down in a long plait. ' How sound you sleep.

I have not had a wink all night. Oh, such a wonderful plan came into my head with a flash last night. Listen.' Then she began to talk rapidly, cuddling for warmth against the bed side. ' What. You want me to get married instead of you ? ' exclaimed Nan, aghast, sitting bolt up right. ' Only by proxy ; only as a pretence, you know ; not really,' pleaded Anita, imploringly, in hurried accents. ' Oh, my dear, dear, dear, listen ! No one will know the difference between us, we are so alike. Only reflect what it means to me — deliverance from that old tyrant — freedom — love ! Darling little Nan, Nanicita, save your unhappy friend.' But Nan was inflexible ; she would not stoop to fraud, and an argument began, lasting till the house maid appeared with hot water. Some two hours later Anita, red eyed, returned to the charge. ' A letter has been given to me by the charwoman.

He is going to shoot himself to-morrow night Nan, how can you be so cruel ? Oh, my handsome lover, he is so fair ! ' Ann privately thought the youth like a canary, for he was yellow-headed and callow. ' Why get married at all ? ' she cried despairingly. ' Only say you won't. That is all' ' And be locked up on bread and water these three days by Miss Ward, and taken home in the Yarrow by Captain Goodman, like a prisoner. Then my father will force my obedience, or send me into a convent. Thank you for your kind help,' retorted Anita, in passionate scorn. ' Then runaway with Mr Finn,' proposed Ann, though terrified at her own daring. 'That is very fine to say when I do not have a chance of seeing my Weellie, this last week, since the old cats began to suspect us.' This was strictly true and made the second horn of the dilemma. ' Oh, if I go through the ceremony, I am married ; and it would be a sin to break it,' reiterated Anita, passionately. ' But if you only pretend and make a wriggle for your name, and wear my thick lace shawl as a veil, it will be only a sham, and hurt nobody, not even Don Edoardo, for if I do have to marry him, I will give him such a time of it ! ' — (this viciously). 'And then my room is engaged at the hotel by Captain Goodman, while you, as my bridesmaid, are to stay that night and take care of me.

Next morning we are both free, and we have left school. Then I shall have some hours to myself, and mean to marry Weellie, and he and I will both tell the captain, just before the ship sails. He won't have time to scold us, and you will have gone back to your aunt by train. Oh, it is all so beautiful, and to think that you are the one person who wants to spoil it, and ruin all our lives ! O — o — o — oh ! Nan, there is still time, you can't refuse me ! ' Anita's prophetic soul was right. Nan still held out for some time, but the garrison was growing feeble, its provision of good precepts running short. An hour later, terrified by a fresh report of Weellie's frenzy, conveyed over a garden wall in a letter inside a potato, also by an hysterical attack, in which Anita showed the whites of her eyes and lay for dead, the righteous maiden yielded, where upon Anita recovered with surprising rapidity, and danced some steps of a foreign jig. ' I thought you would do it,' she observed com placently. ' I can so well always get everybody to do whatever I want' This was slightly aggravating.

Nobody likes to be considered dough, even when kneaded by friendly fingers. However, Nan was in for it, and so sub mitted with as good a grace as possible.

Chapter II

A PROXY WEDDING The hours flew by that winter day with breath less quickness. Before she could realise that she was chief actor in a fraud, Nan found herself dressed in a new blue silk gown, belonging to Anita, with a thick lace mantilla thrown over her head and face, after the fashion of an English bride. Being a right minded girl, she had tried to realise the situation, but only the old refrain chimed in her ears : — Something new, something blue — ' What was the third thing of the rhyme? It worried Nan among other and important thoughts that she could not remember it. Miss MacTague, who was dressing the bride, giggled. ' I can't see your nose even. It is lucky that I chose this blue dress, for white would attract more attention, and it is better after all to keep this little wedding quiet.

Now, people will only A PROXY WEDDING 13 think you are a young lady going to the theatre. How I wish I could see the fun, too.' ' It is too bad of you to back out of being bridesmaid,' expostulated Nan, frightened at her fellow conspirator's desertion in the hour of trial. ' Indeed, dear, I am so sorry,' lamented Anita, though with sparkling eyes, ' but, otherwise, it would be too great a risk. If we stood together the difference might be noticed in our figures. Even " the Bishop " might see. Hush . . . ! Here she comes.' Miss Ward entered at that moment, peering before her blindly as usual. The lady, indeed, looked not unlike a dignitary of the church, for she wore a remarkably short and scrimped dark skirt, high, black gaiters and a wide hat. ' Now, my dear Miss MacTague, it is time to start for the ceremony.

Are you quite ready ? Miss Montague, I regret to hear of your severe headache.' Anita had prostrated herself with promptitude on the bed and laid her handkerchief over her eyes. ' She is steel eel,' murmured Nan, blushing at her own first but frightful attempt at deception, and trembling in her blue satin shoes. ' Let us not be late.' A quarter-of-an-hour later the false bride and her caretaker entered the hotel sitting-room, where a little group awaited them. Captain Goodman, of the ss. Yarrow, came forward with a fatherly air. 'And how are you, senorita? I am proud to be commissioned by my old friend, Don Pedro, your father, to give you away first, and then to take care of you till I hand you over to the safe keeping of Don Edoardo, your husband.' He added apologetically, ' As to the proxy hus band, my own officers are all so busy, you see, and enjoying themselves on shore with their friends.

I meant to ask the doctor as a steady, married man, but he has thrown me over, so, at the last moment, I have got a passenger, a very nice fellow. He has promised not to say a word, as you do not wish to travel as a married lady. Mr Bryan, let me introduce you.' Nan bowed, and through her thick veil distinguished a pair of eager eyes, trying vainly to dart their gaze through the meshes of the Spanish lace. ' If I may have the honour, I hope I am enough of a gentlemen to keep a lady's secret,' said the passenger in a deep-chested voice, that echoed from the furniture around. The thought flashed through Nan's confused brain, that it was like the sound produced by tapping on a drum with the tips of one's fingers ; also she had an impression that her proxy husband was a tall, supple, young man, never quiet a second, but con tinually smiling, turning, bowing, or shooting glances at the bystanders.

A PROXY WEDDING 15 Then the priest came forward, and some kind of ceremony began. To her dying day Ann Montague could not remember a word of those that pattered against her ears like hail, though the sense never reached her brain. How terribly cold it was ! She quaked from head to foot and felt rather sick. Then her icy hand was taken in a warm, large clasp, and her fingers were, yes, surely squeezed. The pseudo bride blushed hotly under her sheltering veil, and modestly tried to withdraw from the touch, which she was ashamedly conscious produced a pleasing sense in her terrified mind. Now came the last and worst moment of the ordeal. ' Senorita, will you please sign your name here ? ' said Captain Goodman, in a ringing voice, which, being used to make itself heard above winds and waves, was audible through the storm battling in Ann's soul. ' Why, how your hand is trembling.

The last " a " in your name, Anna, might be nothing but a twist, and the " Mac " looks very queer. There, there ! Never mind, it will do ; ' a stifled sob was audible from the veiled bride. (' Oh ! my goodness, is it a forgery ? ' the unhappy Nan was asking herself in bitter dismay. Well, she had really written Ann Montague, her own name ; not Anna MacTague.) Then followed some congratulations; an awkwardly playful attempt on Miss Ward's part to raise the bride's veil, which the latter firmly resisted ; a kind hand-shake from the captain; a longer, respectful pressure of her fingers by the passenger, Mr Bryan — and it was over. Miss Ward, having conducted her charge upstairs to a handsome hotel bedroom, embraced the supposed Chilian damsel with a secret sense of deliverance, wished her farewell, a good voyage and much happiness, uttering a quasi-Episcopal blessing.

Ann was left alone ; but not for long. The door opened and Anita danced in gaily. ' Bless you ! bless you ! ' she cried, kissing her friend on either cheek, and folding her in a delighted hug. ' Oh ! I have such a secret to tell you. Can you guess ? I have just been married, too.' ' Married, but how could you ? Why, you told me that to-morrow — ' ' Yes ! yes ! but we could not wait. Weellie and I thought it would be such fun, so we have just got married, too, at the registrar's office. He is waiting for me outside ; I thought I must just come in and say good-bye to my dear Nanicita, and to bless you. Only fancy our both being married at the same time.' Anita executed a caper. ' Both of us married ! But I am not ! ' ' Yes ! yes, you are. When you see Don Edoardo, please tell him to bless me for giving him a better wife than I should have been.' ' I am not going to Chili !

And I shall not see Don Edoardo ! and ' — with a cry of entreaty and apprehension — ' and what do you mean ? ' A PROXY WEDDING 17 ' Listen, my dear Ann,' said Anita, suddenly, composing herself to an air of intense earnestness. ' I am going to speak to you seriously, like your best friend. You are handsome, even handsomer than I am, and sympathetic, but poor, and too gentle to get on in life, unless you are well taken care of. You think to return to your aunt's house, who will tyrannise over you and starve you. And you will never meet anyone in that dull country life, but a fat farmer, or a hungry curate, so that you will not marry, and will wither away. Now, I tell you that a rich husband is far better ; and I — I — I have got you one, besides getting a handsome young one for myself.' (Anita flipped out her hand kerchief and waved it while executing some steps, forgetting gravity.) ' Your passage is paid to Chili, and there are the dresses !

I will make you a hand some gift of all of them, except the white satin, dearest, and that duck of a feather bonnet. Do not thank me, it is not much considering what you have done for me, besides they are made with high necks, and I want mine low cut for the Indies. The boxes are gone on board, all marked with your new name. Farewell ! Senorita Pallmer.' Anita gaily blew a kiss and rushed to the door. ' But wait — listen — Anita ! Anita ! ' Nan, recover ing from a dazed state of astonishment, sprang wildly after the retreating figure. But the door R closed in her face and the key turned in the lock outside. Then Anita's laughing voice sounded in a whisper through the keyhole. ' Adieu, dearest ! So sorry to leave you alone.'

Chapter III The Finger Of Fate Points Seawards

All night Ann walked about her room, first stupe fied, then weeping. She had long ago torn off her veil and wedding finery and flung them on the bed, in a frenzy of rage with her faithless friend, and then she flung herself on the hearthrug by way of contrast. Towards four o'clock, feeling chilled and aching in every bone of her body, she roused up weariedly, ashamed of herself, with a dull thought that Anita, in such a situation, would have done just the con trary, and been sleeping soundly between her sheets by this time. So, for very shame's sake, not to let the hotel servants guess her ridiculous plight, Ann got into bed, to lie wide awake for some hours more. Then she dropped asleep, or so she firmly believed, just as the housemaid appeared. The latter unlocked the door from without, and then demurely expressed hopes that Ann had not been nervous through the night, as Mrs Finn, her friend, said, in going away, the young lady wished to be locked in.

Now, it had come to Nannie's mind, during the small hours, that she would confess all to Captain Goodman and ask his fatherly advice. Hastily dressing herself, she scribbled a note which she sent downstairs, for he was staying in the same hotel. Then, white-faced and red-eyed, she waited the commodore's prompt appearance in the adjacent sitting-room, feeling, when his step sounded heavily outside, as if she were about to receive sentence from a judge. ' Bless my soul ! How white you look ! What is all this about?' said the usually cheery sailor, with a terribly quiet manner and grave voice, as Ann rose, holding by the table, unable to speak, he gave a swift glance at her face, and seemed more satisfied. Then, giving the culprit time to collect herself, he re-read her shakily-written note, with a puzzled air. ' Guilty of a deception. . . .

Must tell me all. . . . Am not Anna MacTague, but a very unhappy girl, Ann Montague.' Captain Goodman was large of build, of middling height, and much greater weight. He had a kindly, resolute face, which now gazed earnestly at the criminal before him, searching to read into her soul, while a ponderous forefinger tapped the letter he held. ' Well, if you are not Anita MacTague, you are as like her as two peas. Still, of course, I see — I do see the more English type which makes the difference. Now,' drawing a chair up to the table, and sitting down heavily, 'why did you play us this trick ? Why did you play us this trick ? ' repeated Captain Goodman. ' Indeed, indeed, it was Anita ! ' and to her own shame, and the captain's dismay, Ann broke down in a storm of sobbing, It needed some minutes, a glass of water, and pitying pattings on her shoulder by the captain, before the false bride could stammer forth the whole tale, which she gave without the least gloss, or attempt at concealment. ' For a few moments — they seemed hours to Nan — Captain Goodman sat and considered.