Paynton Jacks, Gentleman

Chapter I

Paynton Jacks was the only son of his father, and his father was a rich man. Old Josiah Jacks sprang from the people. His beginnings were humble, to say the least of it. In fact, Josiah's earliest recollections were of a cat's meat basket, and of the strap, which alter nately held the basket in its place before him, and left its mark upon his shoulders. But we are not all born to the purple ; more honour, therefore, to him who attains to it. This was Josiah's way of thinking at a very early age, and he proceeded to put the axiom into practice as far as he could. A Being a youth of some perspicacity, and with faculties sharpened by a hunger which was always with him, he saw that money was the stepping-stone to most things, and, forthwith, in spite of difficulties which might have ap peared overwhelming to an ordinary being, he set about obtaining his share of the coin of the realm.

No one had taught him, that to take care of the pennies was to imply similar forethought on behalf of the pounds for themselves, for two very good reasons. Firstly, because none of his acquaintance had a superfluity of pennies to take care of, much less pounds ; and, secondly, because no one had time to teach him any thing ; but his conduct was marked by an inborn application of this fact. He grubbed among the dust-heaps so judiciously, that, at length, he was enabled to indulge in wild speculation in wax-lights ; and out of wax lights, he, as time went on, saved sufficient to set himself up as a cat's-meat man. From the day, when he carried round his own cat's-meat basket, instead of being at the mercy of the strap of some one else's, his future was assured. Slowly, and always with bare feet, he climbed the ladder of prosperity, until, at forty, he found himself a rich man, for his, or for any position in life.

He considered, then, that, to use his own phrase, he might ' let out a bit,' and the par ticular form of expansiveness in which he decided to indulge, was matrimony. On first sight, it might have appeared that Josiah's shrewdness had deserted him on this occasion, for his choice was a poor little nursery governess, down-trodden, slender and meek, without a penny with which to bless herself, when he might have taken to his heart the daughter of Miss Paynton's patroness, with five hundred pounds to her fortune. But taking to his heart was just the rub. Josiah, at forty, caught the infection as badly as he could. That is to say, to the extent of purchasing a marvellous checked suit, in which, with a bright red necktie, he was invariably attired when he waylaid Miss Paynton on her walks, and to the extent of bringing matters to the climax of the church on the earliest possible occasion, and of taking her from thence, for an after noon's outing in the nearest country village, where he did things handsomely, according to his lights, and even went the length of ordering tea and shrimps for two in a private room.

Whether it was his wife's gentle ways, or, as he explained to one of his friends one day, when warmed by a third glass of toddy, he gave way to an unusual volubility — 'She's gotten edication, and I'se gotten brass ; ' or because ambition had really fired his brain, but Josiah suddenly became dis satisfied with his position as a man of means in a two-roomed cottage. He would be a gentleman as well. He signified this intention in so many words to his wife, and suggested that she might teach him the rudiments of the art, while he contributed to the arrangement by moving from the vicinity of the straw-yard — for Josiah nominally dealt in hay and straw — and set up his establishment in one of the (vide the advertisements) ' elegant villa residences' on the New Road, with a servant all to themselves, instead of a woman twO hours in a morning.

But the meek, little woman had another employment before her — she died, and left Paynton behind. Josiah was downcast at her loss, but his commercial training stood him in good stead. He looked upon it as a bad debt, and when that unpleasant item appears in the ledger, as a hard insurmountable fact, the best way is to turn over the page and begin anew. Not matrimony this time ! No ! Josiah was not the man to throw his money down the same gutter twice. Instead, he looked around for the pickings of assets, and found them — dubious ones — in Paynton, then repre sented by a meagre puling atom of humanity three weeks old. Paynton — or, to give him his full title — Josiah Paynton Jacks, was henceforth the object upon which old Josiah lavished his hopes and aspirations. With one partner in the concern gone, he felt that his original plan was less alluring ; besides, he saw that the rough grain of his nature would not take kindly to the polish of gentility, but he thought that, by frequent rubbing from the earliest age, the proper shine might appear on the boy.

So, he set about making a gentleman of Paynton with characteristic prudence. One fine evening, when office hours were over, and after he had allowed himself the diversion of spending an extra half hour over the account books, where the figures stood out in a formidable and comfortino column on the right side of the ledger, he set out for the residence of Mr W7exby, the schoolmaster, Paynton, at this time, being about six years old. 'Is Mr Wexby within?' he inquired, and on being informed that Mr Wexby was with in, he stepped, as requested, into the parlour. Mr Wexby, besides being a schoolmaster, was, according to a tradition generally received in Balmforth, a person of some pretentions to birth and education, and therefore the best authority, in Josiah's eyes, upon the question that he had come to ask. ' Good day, Mr Jacks,' said the schoolmaster, as he pulled forward a chair for his guest. ' Good day,' grunted Josiah uneasily, who now, when he was fairly embarked upon it, found his undertaking rather a tremendous affair.

Mr Wexby waited to hear what was re quired of him, for Josiah had not the reputation of wasting his time in useless visits of ceremony ; but, as no communication appeared to be forthcoming, he asked in that voice, which all the years of grinding and struggling, in every part of the world from Dan to Beersheba, could not rob of its refinement, — Is there anything that I can do for you ? ' A deal,' returned Josiah, laconically, as he mopped his face with his great red hand kerchief. The eight-day clock ticked steadily on Mr Wexby, after a glance at it, seated him self farther back in his chair, Mr Jacks sat bolt upright, his hands resting on his knees. ' A deal,' repeated Josiah, after another interval, and he sighed heavily. ' How can I help you ? ' the schoolmaster inquired. Josiah, in despair, gave a final rub to his bald head, and then, thrusting his handkerchief deep into his pocket, bent forward. ' You knows all t' dealing o' edication ; don't you ? ' he asked. ' I am a schoolmaster,' Mr Wexby began, and he sighed as he spoke. ' I knows,' interposed Josiah, as he put that aspect of the conversation aside. ' See here,' and he once more leaned his hands on his knees and stared, with his sharp, shrewd eyes, into the other's face, ' it ain't book-learnin', only as concerns me.

What I looks for is this ' — and he thrust out a broad, horny hand, ' I looks for manners.' Mr Wexby listened in silence, only the faintest smile of amusement stole into the corners of his lips. ' I don't want so much edication,' proceeded Mr Jacks, ' poured down his throat, — it's my boy, Paynton, I'm thinking on, you know — at so much per yard, or per hour, if that's as it's done. I wants more than that. I wants 'im taught to be a gentleman. I's brass ; but I ain't a gentleman, a blind man could see that with half a eye. I's more brass than half on them as holds up their heads and is gentlefolks. Says I, to my sen, brass can do aught. My Paynton's going to be edicated for a gentleman. What's sharpest way ? ' He asked the last question like the firing off of a gun. Mr Wexby raised his head, with an unusual glow in his eyes.

The situation tickled him ; and to him circumstance had rendered humour a luxury. He felt inclined to fall in with this man's vagaries, if only for the amusement they afforded. 'Well,' he began, in his low, mellow voice, 'stating things briefly, I should do this.' He paused. The transaction was so ex quisitely ludicrous, that he was obliged to stop for a moment to contemplate it. He had tried his hand at a good many things, had earned his bread — or failed to do so — in a good many ways, but the manufacturing of a gentleman was quite a new departure. ' Go on,' said Josiah, impatiently. ' First,' and Mr Wexby raised a thin, long fingered hand ; ' how old is he ? ' ' Six, come next fifth of May.' ' What does he know ? ' ' Book-learnin'?' inquired the anxious parent. ' Yes ; can he read ? ' ' He knows nowt.

I says to mysen, get him on with growin' first, then maybe book-learnin'. Puttin' down a foundation first is great thing to my way o' thinkin'. His mother's were nowt to speak of, jerry-built like, and see how it carried her off.' 'True,' responded the schoolmaster. 'So,' says I to my sen, 'if book-learnin' he must have, he must. It never were no manner of use to me, for I had none ; but bein' a gentleman is one thing, and dealin' in hay and straw, and maybe an odd load o' corn or so, ' is another, and if edication and manners is one, then a edication he must have.' 'Very well,' answered Mr Wexby. 'Then I propose that you send him to a good pre paratory school, and then — ' ' Stop a bit,' put in Josiah ; 'what kind of a school is that 'un ? ' Preparatory,' repeated the schoolmaster. Eh, that ? ' 'Where little boys are sent until they are old enough to go on to a public school.' ' Nah ! nah ! ' grunted Josiah, again breaking in upon his authority's description. ' Don't ye understand no better than that ?

My Paynton go to a public school with any common child, and me thought, at least, of Mr Smith's aca demy in the Bellevue Road.' And he took out his bandana again, and mopped his head with an aggrieved air. Mr Wexby saw that the board school blocked Josiah's vision, and that it behooved him to explain. ' You mistake me,' he said quietly, though he promised himself a hearty laugh by-and by; 'I was referring to our large public schools — Eton, Harrow, Rugby, and so forth, where the sons of our nobility and gentry are educated.' ' Nobility,' gasped out Josiah, much im pressed ; ' real nobs ? ' ' Yes.' ' Then that's the purse for my money,' cried he, as he slapped his pocket, and then he looked up again with a very serious face. ' It will cost a bonny penny, I'll be bound.' ' Two hundred a year for the preparatory.' 'For him now P ejaculated Josiah, inter rupting as unceremoniously as usual. ' And Eton,' went on Mr Wexby, with perhaps a little malicious enjoyment of Mr Jack's amazement, ' about three hundred ; and that is the first school in the country.' ' Three hundred !

Good Lord ! for book learnin', and me bein' sayin' to my sen that there's nowt as cheap as edication.' He got up and put on his hat. 'Good day, master,' he went on; 'I'll think it over. Three hundred pounds ! Lord ! how it do wind up a man's clock. And would that be all now ? ' ' There would be incidental expenses. Since your aim is position, you would have to spend money pretty freely,' replied Mr Wexby, who could not resist the temptation of swimming in this remarkable stream. Another hundred, say ? Perhaps.' ' For what did you call it ? ' The schoolmaster was at fault. ' For position,' he hazarded. ' Hob-nobbing with swells ? ' Yes.' ' So that's as you call it. It's as well to know right name on things. Good night, master. Four hundred ! Good Lord ! ' Josiah took himself home and thought about it.

He thought about it through three stiff glasses of whisky-and-water, and through three church-warden, clay, pipe'sful of tobacco ; and the result was, that Josiah decided to plunge That is to say, he was prepared to devote to his son's education about double the sum that had hitherto covered his whole expenditure. ' But if a man has a hobby, he must pay for it,' he reminded himself philosophically. The next afternoon, he again set out for Mr Wexby's abode. Josiah never allowed the grass to grow under his feet. ' I'll go for it,' he announced, without any preliminary of greeting, as he found the schoolmaster, his day's labour over, with a battered volume in his hand, which bore upon its cover a crest and coat of arms. ' You mean that you will send your boy to the preparatory ? ' questioned Mr Wexby. ' I'm going the whole hog.

Preparatory or other 'tories. Josiah Jacks ain't the one to do things by halves.' So it was settled. Paynton Jacks was sent to school to be made into a gentleman. Josiah watched the process with the keenest interest, and invariably applied to Mr Wexby for help on the knotty points, which would from time to time arise ; such as, for instance, the writing of the necessary letters, for neither in the matters of spelling, composition, nor caligraphy did Josiah feel himself proficient. At length, however, when Paynton's tenth birthday was passed, Mr Jacks betook himself to his adviser's residence with an expression on his face, which suggested a conscience at peace with itself. ' Paynton wants to do sommut, what does he mean ? ' he asked, as he handed the boy's epistle to Mr Wexby. ' To join the gymnastic club,' the school master said, with the old humorous light in his eyes, as he ran his glance over the letter. ' Yes ; if that's how you call it.

What is it ? ' Mr Wexby permitted himself to smile. Little enough amusement had come in his way since the day when he made that awful muddle of his life, and the topic of Paynton's education generally afforded him one os these rare opportunities ; besides, the tremendous ear nestness of the ex-vendor of cat's-meat in his quest after breeding, was not without its influence upon him. He gave the required explanation at some length. ' Oh ! grunted Josiah, when the matter became clear to him, ' it will pull him out, make a well set-up young man of him. I've no objections. If he's a bit estray tall — good. Folks will look at him. I never buys my horses long e' legs, drawing up them hills finishes 'em where little 'uns stands years longer. If Paynton had got to earn his livin' same as me, Fad say, no ; but a gentleman's different.

He's a fine lad ; now ain't he ' ? Mr Wexby truthfully replied that he was a tall boy for his age, and a nice lad too ; for Paynton had spent a good deal of time with him during the last holidays, and the schoolmaster privately wondered what the dapper, B little fellow, in his Eton jacket and spotless white collar, thought of his rough-and-ready father. Perhaps Josiah's next words threw some light on the question. ' Master,' he said, and he leaned forward in his usual fashion with his hands on his knees, ' I'm thinkin' I've made a mistake.' ' How ' ? asked Mr Wexby, and it instantly crossed his mind that if Mr Jacks repented him of his ambition, and intended to drag his son and heir from the pedestal on which he had placed him, that he would find it a more difficult process than he anticipated. ' How ? ' he inquired again. ' If hay sweats, no matter how neat you thatch, stink comes through ; doesn't it ? ' ' Yes.' 'Well! look you here.

I'm thinking what's the use of me pouring money out, like water through a yard sieve, for the boy, and me, mesen, no better than I was. How can t' boy say to his nobs — " It's my father," and me with straws all stickin' to my back ? I must be summat like a gentleman too — not that I'se fool enough to think that I'll be right thing ; but just a top-coating like.' Mr Wexby hardly knew what to reply. It was a proposition so novel as to be em barrassing. But Josiah's face betrayed that he had yet more to say, so the schoolmaster waited, not for the moment perceiving, how he could be of assistance in the matter. But Josiah was so oppressed with the magnitude of his resolution, that he broke away from it, and tried a side issue. ' Parlez-vooing,' he said ; how do you think Paynton gets on with that?

Did you talk with him in it? ' ' Paynton's French is improving,' Mr Wexby answered. ' Good ! good ! it's a mighty hot day ; ' and Josiah sighed heavily, and had recourse to his red handkerchief. Mr Wexby rose and opened the window, and, as he did so, his book fell from the arm of the chair on which he had placed it. Josiah picked it up. Books had a particular interest for him at this juncture. ' What's this ? ' he asked, as he turned it over and looked at it, as though it were a curiosity. ' Marcus Aurelius,' returned Mr Wexby, and he put out his hand for it before Josiah had time to turn over more than a page or two. ' Never heard o' it,' returned the perplexed seeker after gentility. ' Does Paynton learn that ? ' ' It is written in Greek.' ' Oh ! as though a new light had been vouchsafed to him ; ' words of it are Greek, in the same way, I reckons, as words of my notices of season's new hay is in English.' Mr Wexby admitted that the illustration was to the point, without moving a muscle of his face, for long practice had taught him to keep his countenance come what might.

Josiah sat back in his chair. ' It blows cold-like this evenin',' he remarked, after a brief interval. Mr Wexby went to the window and shut it this time. Then Josiah looked straight before him, perplexity still being the most largely marked expression on his face. He heaved a sigh, while Mr Wexby cast a longing glance at Marcus Aurelius. ' Fact is,' Josiah begart, with one of those plunges in which his ruminations so frequently ended ; ' will you take me in hand and put a topcoat o' paint like on me ? ' Mr Wexby ceased to long for solitude with Marcus Aurelius. This was a situation that he could appreciate to the uttermost. ' What can I do ? ' he asked. ' Nah ! ' exclaimed Josiah, ' should I wan learnin' if I know'd.' The schoolmaster bowed before this rebuke. 'You are right,' he said, and Josiah never suspected how his sides ached with internal laughter. ' Only it is difficult to suggest a beginning.' 'A few manners,' repeated Josiah; 'a top dressing o' ways of swells wouldn't be amiss.

A bright idea illuminated Mr Wexby's brain. ' I understand,' he said. 'You do!' ' I think so. Suppose you stay to tea with me to-night ? ' ' That's right,' rejoined Josiah approvingly ; ' I allers likes a man as works up to collar of 'is bargain.' His,' suggested Mr Wexby. What ? ' inquired Josiah. The cumbersome laws of the aspirate were explained to him. 'H-h-is,' he repeated, while a breath that might have been a young hurricane whistled through the room. 'Sally,' called Mr Wexby, as he opened the door; 'tea, please.' The little maid came in. ' Lay for two,' he told her. Josiah sat still and watched. During all the years of his acquaintance with the schoolmaster, he had never broken bread under his roof, neither had Mr Wexby been in vited to share his fare. No quid pro quo being possible, Josiah would have considered such an invitation wasteful ; and he quite understood that this meal was to come in the course of his lessons.

The tea arrived, Mr Wexby moved a small flower-pot on to the table, and his guest wondered when the substantial part of the meal was to appear. Personally, he would have preferred eatables to flowers. 'Will you take that chair?' inquired Mr Wexby. Josiah sat down, and as he was helped to a small slice of corned beef, he thought regretfully of the substantial steak stewing at home, of the glorious smell of fried onions which was awaiting his nose. Mr Wexby spread out his serviette. He would have gone without a good many things rather than forego that luxury, though the penny a week for washing might be a consideration. 'Your serviette is by your side, I think,' he said meaningly to his pupil. But Josiah was not yet educated up to a hint. 'Eh?' he said. ' Your serviette,' repeated the instructor of manners, and he lifted up his own.

Josiah understood this time. Without making any pretence of disguise, he peered round the table to see the destination of his host's, then he laboriously deposited his own, in like manner, on his knee. ' Does swells always have these fal-lals to tea ? ' he inquired, when the sharpest edge was taken off his appetite, although he felt that much still remained unsatisfied. ' Dinner, luncheon, breakfast, every meal,' replied Mr Wexby, who promised himself plenty of amusement — of a kind — from his new occupation. ' Dear ! dear ! there's a deal to learn,' sighed Josiah. In his heart, the schoolmaster agreed with him. Josiah passed his cup to be re-filled; then, finding it hot and himself thirsty, he poured the tea into the saucer, and drank it off at a gulp. ' May I ?' asked Mr Wexby, in his most cour teous tone, as he put out his hand for the cup.

Josiah pushed it along the table, and when it was returned to him, repeated the former process as far as the saucer was concerned ; but the matter of his thirst not being so pressing, he left the tea to cool, pushed his hands into his pockets, and turned his attention to the man by his side. Mr Wexby went on with his meal, and Josiah was quite alive to the difference, in general between them, although he could not distinguish details. ' Gentlefolk is mighty funckin',' he remarked, after a long survey. Mr Wexby, having finished, waited for Mr Jacks to do likewise, then folded his serviette, a process which Josiah imitated, from afar, and rose. ' You smoke ? ' the schoolmaster asked, as he pushed a tobacco jar forward. Josiah saw that it was nearly empty. 'No,' he said, 'I mun be goin'. Thank'ee, master ; and look here — ' If Josiah ever could be said to blush, he blushed then. 'Yes.' ' Would victuals pay you if you com'd up three times a week to my place to tea, and kept your eye on me ? ' Mr Wexby half turned away. ' Perfectly, thanks,' he answered with his grand air, as a moment later, he faced his pupil again. ' Mondays, Wednesdays, and — no, not Saturdays.

A man must rest, and what with wage-paying, and one thing after another, I'm fair flustered on Saturdays long afore tea-time. Would Sundays meet you, master ?' Mr Wexby rapidly reflected that the saving of a meal three times a week would mean so many pence towards the purchase of a new book, and books were just the one real enjoy ment left to him now. ' I shall be most happy,' he said. Mr Jacks took his leave, but once in the passage, he stumped back again. ' How do you call them things? ' he asked. Mr Wexby was at fault. ' Them bits of rag you wipes yourself with ? ' ' Serviettes,' suggested the guide to manners. ' Eh ! that's it. Write it down, will you, master. I always says it's as well to get off a name or two ; now, isn't it ? ' ' Assuredly,' returned Mr Wexby, who wondered how much further the thirst for im provement would carry this child of nature.

He went to the table, and wrote down the word in the fine, large copperplate hand in which he was accustomed to head the pages of the boys' copy-books, to their mingled wonder and disp-ust. Josiah held the paper between his ponderous forefinger and thumb. ' Serviette ! ' He spelled the letters out slowly. ' Lord ! what names they do give things. Good day, master. Let's see. Fri day this. Come on Sunday, and I'll do you well. Hadn't you better make it dinner ; there's more knife-and-forkin' there. Anybody can drink tea out o' a cup.' ' Very well ; dinner, certainly ; thanks,' replied Mr Wexby, although, to his way of thinking, there was still room for improvement in Josiah's method of swallowing his tea

Chapter II

By the time that the mighty Paynton reached his twenty-fifth birthday, his fond parent, with infinite toil and patience, had received what he spoke of, as a top-coating of manners. That is to say, Josiah had discovered that saucers were to hold their cups and not to act as refrigerators ; that the functions of knives and forks are two ; that H's bestrewed the English language in the most troublesome fashion ; and that well-cut clothes and a certain knowledge of the laws of grammar and of orthography, are of advantage to a man with aspirations, and Josiah's aspirations were lead ing him onwards. The ' elegant villa residence ' was exchanged for a mansion standing in its own grounds quite three miles from the town ; a brougham took the place of the tax-cart, luncheon ousted dinner at one, and entrees stood instead of the delicate steak and onions at seven.

Moreover, a little slavey no longer minis tered to his wants ; there was a slow-stepping, solemn functionary, who was possessed with a double, if unusual, qualification, for Josiah had engaged a butler, who not only knew his own place, but could teach his master his ; — and the arrangement worked better than might have been expected. At nineteen, Paynton left Eton and went on to Trinity, where he was bidden by his father not to work hard, not to keep within his allowance, as paternal advice generally runs to young hopefuls — but to make friends, Josiah was constrained to add, for want of a better word — ' with nobs.' Paynton passed through his university career in the pleasant, dawdling fashion of the gilded youth, and then announced his intention of going round the world. Josiah, when he heard of it, looked grave. ' What's the use of spending money here, there, everywhere ? ' he asked. ' Put your gold in a heap, my boy.

No one thinks much of a sovereign, but any fool will stare at twenty thousand on end.' But Paynton, with rare discernment, ex plained that several men of his acquaintance, in whose veins ran the bluest of blue blood, were preparing to travel likewise. Josiah felt that the case was altered, ' If it's the right thing, it is,' he said, ' What do you say, Mr Wexby ' ? The schoolmaster was a schoolmaster no longer. Nominally, he was the custodian of the town library, virtually, he was director in-chief of the Jacks' household ; and between him and Paynton was established an alliance of long standing. ' I think it is the best thing he can do,' he said, and an expression of keenest regret crossed his face ; ' it will enlarge his mind, and help to fit him for any position he may hereafter occupy.' ' Lord ! ' ejaculated Josiah ; ' all that with moving from one spot to another, when he might be sleeping comfortable in his own bed at home.' So Paynton was sent abroad to enlarge his mind, or to pick up acquaintance with the future dwellers in high places, according to the light in which you regarded it.

He, himself, neither looked at it through one pair of spectacles nor the other. From his point of view, he he had gone to enjoy himself — a proceeding which he set about in right good earnest, and accomplished entirely to his satisfaction. The year lengthened into two, and the two into three, but the day which was to see him home had dawned, had seen its meridian, and was drawing to a close. Paynton might drive to his father's door at any moment, and Josiah was wandering round his dinner-table, intent upon it, but straining his ears for the sound of wheels. The old man was not exactly comfortable. He had worn his dress suit quite frequently lately, so he had got accustomed to diving into the tails of his coat for his handkerchief, and to such little trifles as that ; but to-day, fired with enthusiasm, he had encased his neck in a stiff, stand-up collar, which threatened, every time he turned his head, to cut a gash in his throat.