Hearts are Trumps

Chapter I

But that is not the question — the question is concerning your marriage." Merry Wives of Windsor. " How quickly nature Falls into revolt, when gold becomes her object ! " Henry I \ *. Captain Comptayne, thoroughly exhausted both in mind and body by the events of the last few days, as soon as he had seen all quiet in his father's room, and found his presence no longer essential, retired to his own, leaving directions with the attendants to summon him immediately if there should be any return of the excitement. He threw himself on his bed, and was soon in a deep sleep. He could not have been asleep more than an hour when he was awakened by the opening of his door; he started up and, to his VOL. II. B ■2 Hearts are Trumps. surprise, saw Lady Comptayne, candle in hand, enter with cautious steps.

Her ladyship was ghastly pale, and the green dress in which she had been driving about the previous day, and which she had never thought of changing, added to her pallor. Her long grey hair hung down in dishevelled masses, for Sir Hildebrande, in his paroxyism, had dislodged her combs and cap ; her collar was torn, and a long scratch which she had received in contention with him crossed her brow ; the blood had smeared her ribbons and lace ; and in the figure approaching scarcely any one would have recognized the dignified, frigid Lady Comptayne. Lady Comptayne advanced towards her son's bed and sat down on it, placing her candle upon the nearest table, where its flickering light was rendered still more dismal by the streaks of morning sun which struggled through the shutter. — It was not a bright picture.

Captain Comptayne, between asleep and awake, scarcely realized the presence of his mother ; when he saw more clearly, he, fearful that her ladyship came to announce that " all was over," tremulously enquired, — " How is Sir Hildebrande ? " (Even in this trying time the old habits of formality stood their ground.) " Sir Hildebrande sleeps quietly, Captain Comp tayne," replied her ladyship, in hollow tones. " Dr. Meadows gives great hopes that his mind will be much clearer when he wakes ; and says that he must on no account be suddenly roused. I found that I was not wanted at present, therefore I came up to speak to you ; to consult, you as to what we ought to do, for it will not do to mention anything before him. I suppose you know that we are all ruined, and that after this unfortunate business your father's person is no longer safe."

Captain Comptayne heartily wished that his lady mother, instead of rousing him at five o'clock in the morning to talk over such unpleasant busi ness, had retired to the sofa in her own dressing room, and there taken the repose, which she needed as well as he did ; but as she had seen fit to come, he must rouse himself up to attend to her, and therefore smothering a yawn, replied : — "Spare yourself, my dear Lady Comptayne, from entering into any particulars. I think I know all. Parkinson told me a great deal yesterb2 day morning. I would to God I had known it sooner. But I have not had any time to think steadily about business, we have been in such a state of confusion since I arrived. It has all come upon me so suddenly that I do not know yet what to advise. I will see Parkinson in the course of the morning, and consult over our affairs."

" Something must be done immediately, Captain Comptayne, or Sir Hildebrande must go abroad," said her ladyship, curtly. Her son, who was musing dreamily, caught the word " abroad," and exclaimed : — "Yes, that would be the very best thing you could do ; go abroad. Suppose you and Sir Hildebrande, with the girls, were to start as soon as my father can be moved, with all the ready money we have ; and leave the settling of everything to me and Parkinson. We might be able to do something. Matters may not turn out so very bad, after all ; and the change woidd do every one good, and turn Sir Hildebrande's thoughts from this stupid electioneering business. We might cut off the entail ; and then, when the mortgages are all paid off, something surely will be left for you. Enough for you and the girls to live quietly and comfortably upon in some nice snug place on the continent ; and we men must just shift for our selves, which is what Hugo and Bertram ought to have done long ago, instead of idling about and living upon their parents.

I will consult Meadows about it, and see what he thinks, and find out how soon Sir Hildebrande will be fit for the journey. The doctors always consider nothing so good for mental complaints as variety of scene. So cheer up, mother (in his excitement he forgot to say Lady Comptayne), we will soon have my father round again, and happier than ever." Unnoticed by her son, who was busy arranging his plan in his own head, Lady Comptayne had risen from her seat upon his couch and drawn herself gradually up to her full height ; every trace of emotion or excitement had vanished from her countenance, and, in spite of the scratched face and dishevelled hair, any one would have instantly recognized Lady Comptayne of Comp tayne, as, in the genuine family drawl, she thus addressed her firstborn son. (The Comptaynes seldom spoke like other people ; their communications to each other often took the form of orations or decrees, from which there was no appeal ; the following is a tolerable specimen of their style) : — " Captain Comptayne, I think, indeed I hope, that you are still dreaming, when you venture to make such a proposal to a Comptayne of Comp tayne Grange, as flying the country like a low, common, swindling banker 's-clerk !

To propose that Sir Hildebrand Comptayne should go aud live abroad ! What will you say next ? " Captain Comptayne looked up in amazement at this sudden change of voice, and saw that his mother was Lady Comptayne again ; that the softening was but momentary, and that he had got into a scrape, at a time when he flattered himself that he was giving very sensible advice ; and doing what he never did, except for his wife, namely, taking some trouble to think. Since his marriage, smoothed down and humanized by the lovely Paulina and his innocent babes, he was fast for getting that he was a Comptayne ; and that, in consequence of his illustrious descent, he was not to be governed by the same laws, moral, religious, æsthetical, and psycologieal, as other mortals. He forgot that the world was composed of men, women, and Comptaynes, and that it was his bounden duty to regulate his thoughts aud actions by the time-honoured code of that most ancient house.

He had fancied from his mother's tone and words that she really wished for his advice as to how they could be extricated from their diffi culties, and be enabled to pay off all their debts in an honest and straightforward manner. But now it occurred to him that it was not the liquidation of their debts that was the thing of consequence, but the getting out of paying them ; and that the chief anxiety of this honourable house was, in modern parlance, to do their creditors ; and he was expected to give his advice as to how they were to be clone in the most expeditious and effectual manner. All the Captain's un-Comptaynish feelings were roused by this discovery, and he rather sharply declared that he would not lend his assistance to anything that was not straightforward and honest He was quite willing to cut off the entail, and sell the landed property, his rightful inheritance, and that, as he said to himself, of his little Paul ; and by one stroke of his pen make his children penni less.

He would do all this for the sake of honesty, and to make his father and mother comfortable ; but he would make no sacrifice, merely for the sake of keeping the Comptayne pride intact or enabling his brothers to pass their days in idleness. Moving in the world, as he had done for many years, hearing the opinions expressed by different people he encountered, and above all, the companionship of so . simple, honest, and straightforward a character as that of Paulina, was fast making a man of him. He began to see the foolish ways and customs of the Comptaynes, and to appreciate the phantom which the family had always set up as a household god. And though their noses were the highest and their eyes the bluest, yet he was far from thinking those advantages above their fellows to be any compensation for the privations they had endured, or the dis honest way in which it appeared that they had been living for some time past.

Captain Comptayne caught himself using the word " dishonest " ere he was aware ; but a few mo ments' reflection shewed him that, though a start ling word, it was the right one ; and when his lady mother had used the expression " like a swind ling banker's-clerk," he had mentally exclaimed, " And where is the difference ? " For the time, he saw all in its true light. The revelations of Par kinson had astounded him, and there was a mixture of anger in his pity for his parents' embarassments. He could not feel, look at it in whatever way he might, that they had acted justly by their children ; bringing them up in idleness, and with false ex pectations. Had he not himself, until now, been reared to believe that the broad acres of "The Grange " estate were his unalienable inheritance ? Had he not been kept in ignorance that any be sides slight mortgages, left by his grandfather, encumbered the estate ?

Did he not believe that provision had been made by settlements upon the younger children : and now to find that they were all beggars, or worse than beggars — that they, the proud Comptaynes, had been living for years as swindlers. All this rushed through Captain Comptayne's brain in a very few minutes, during which time his lady mother awaited his answer to her question. With impatience she agairi repeated in a sepul chral tone : — " Captain Comptayne, will you consent to help us?" " Lady Comptayne, I can only repeat what I b3 have already said ; that I am willing to make any sacrifice in my power. I will consult with Parkin son immediately on what is the best course to pur sue, and if the creditors cannot be persuaded to wait any longer for their money in principal, I will join in cutting off the entail and selling the estate ; though God knows it will be a heavy trial, thus to be under the necessity of alienating my " (the word children's nearly escaped his lips, and he had just presence of mind enough to stam mer out) " my rightful inheritance."

" We do not require any sacrifice of that kind from you, Captain Comptayne : it is our desire to save the whole estate entire for you and your children ; and it is in your power alone to do it." " In what way, Lady Comptayne, can I do it ? Name your wishes, and I will endeavour to comply with them." Scarcely were the words out of his mouth than he repented having uttered them. It flashed across his mind to what Lady Comptayne's mysterious hints tended, and which his late happiness at Boulogne had quite driven from his memory ; and it was with absolute horror that he heard his mother say — ■ " Marry Miss Stubbs ! " Without waiting for the answer which she saw plainly written on her son's countenance, Lady Comptayne recapitulated all the arguments which she had used upon former occasions, and which had always hitherto drawn from the harassed young man a promise to comply with her wishes, and propose to Miss Stubbs.

But some excuse had always been found for the postponement, just as she was expecting to hear that she must prepare for the wedding. This time her ladyship spoke with the eloquence of despair ; she depicted in glowing colours the condition to which they were all reduced. She worked the picture up strongly ; she represented herself and her daughters as reduced to drudgery in the common workhouse ; whde Sir Hildebrand was lingering out the small remnant of his wretched days in the County Lunatic Asylum, exposed to every indignity that ever was known to fall to the lot of a pauper maniac. All owing to an ungrateful child ! " This burst of eloquence, from his generally apa thetic mother, surprised and rather alarmed Captain Comptayne ; though he was unable to follow the thread of her ladyship's reasoning, or to agree with her concluding clause which accused him of ingra titude.

Marry Miss Stubbs, of course he could not, even if he wished it ; but how to pacify his mother was the principal thing. And when her ladyship, exhausted by her previous fatigue and present unwonted energy, had thrown herself back on the bed, her son meditated, not upon what he should do, but upon what he should say, in this emergency, in order to gain a little time to arrange a real practical scheme. First Hddebrande thought of acknowledging his marriage, and throwing himself upon his mother's mercy ; but a little reflection showed him that that plan would not do, as it was very doubtful whether such a thing as mercy existed in her ladyship's composition : he could not call to his recollection any act which might en courage him to expect any ; and, besides all this, there was quite disturbance enough in the house now, without his being the cause of any more.

Secondly, he thought he would try to persuade his mother, what he imagined very probable himself, namely that Miss Stubbs would not have him : so he began — " Lady Comptayne, are you quite sure Miss Stubbs would marry me if I did ask her ? I think it would be as well to have two strings to one bow, and arrange some other plan in case she should decline the honour ; for I do not believe that she cares the least bit about me : in fact, I imagine that she rather dislikes me." (Captain Comp tayne would not have acknowledged this had he not been very hard up for an escape, we opine.) "Not care for you Hildebrande! what utter nonsense ; just as if a Manchester Miss would not jump at the heir to such a baronetcy as that of the Comptaynes, and such an estate. Only try, you will soon see." " Mr. Stubbs is so sharp, that I do not think he would permit it ; for he would insist upon looking at everything, and would soon find all out about the mortgages.

It is probable that he would not like all her money to be spent in putting a tumble down old family to rights." " Nonsense, boy ! — I tell you Mr. and Miss Stubbs will be only too glad to connect themselves with us at any price. Only try, you will soon see." It now occurred to Captain Comptayne, that he had better try, as the only means of securing a little peace. He was so sanguine as to his refusal that he thought he ran no risk of getting into any awkward dilemma. He was sure Miss Stubbs did not like him in the least : he had never done any thing to ingratiate himself with her, and did not see how she could help absolutely disliking him ; an idea, which would once have been a severe wound to his amour propre, now serving as a source of comfort. The old gentleman certainly had always been remarkably civil to him, and it was just possible that he might compel his niece to marry for the sake of a title in perspective.

Well, he did not know ; he supposed he had better take his chance, it would keep his mother quiet for a bit. And then if he was accepted for the sake of his position in society, he should not feel much compunction in playing the Stubbses a trick ; and would con sider that they well deserved it. Well, yes ; he would propose at once. The wedding could not take place immediately, there would be such a lot for the lawyers to do, and he could keep them dawdling, and in the mean time something might turn up ; he might get his exchange or a hundred things. He might, if the worst came to the worst, suddenly disappear with Paulina, and, upon the proceeds of his commission, retire to some un known corner, and lead a life of quietness and peace. It will be observed that the Comptayne family had all a strong propensity for waiting for some thing to " turn up."

With all these ideas floating through his mind, the gallant gentleman, as soon as his mother had roused herself from her stupor, signified his intention of complying with her wishes without reserve ; and his determination of repairing to the resi dence of Mr. Stubbs at a reasonably early hour that day, and soliciting permission to marry Miss Stubbs. On hearing this fdain statement, Lady Comp tayne so far forgot herself as, in the excitement of the moment, to kiss her son and call down a blessing upon his head, which blessing, with Cap tain Comptayne's private intentions, he did not feel particularly entitled to. But he smoothed down his conscience w*ith the idea that he could not help himself ; or, to use his own pet expres sion, he could not see " what the deuce he was to do otherwise." Satisfied with the promise she had extracted, and not waiting for the chance of retraction, Lady Comptayne hastened to her husband's chamber, where she found him much as she had left him.

Sir Hildebrande was asleep in body but not en tirely asleep in mind, as was betokened by his restless moanings and half-finished sentences, bearing principally upon the events of the past day. Though, upon consideration, Lady Comp tayne did not feel quite sure that she had been successful with her son, yet, as she had his promise, she tried to talk herself into the convic tion that all must go well; for she would not entertain for an instant the notion that her son might be rejected by the heiress. If he could only be brought to make the offer in a proper manner : which, though her ladyship had his promise, she did not feel at all sanguine about, as he had disappointed her so often on some frivolous plea. But, then the proud lady argued, how could he, with the blood of all the Comptaynes and Quelpossey running in his veins, how could he be otherwise than reluctant to sully his proud descent by an alliance with Miss Stubbs of Manchester?

It must be sadly against the grain, she acknow ledged with a sigh. And should the too evident reluctance be discovered by the sagacious uncle, her ladyship knew full well what was likely to be the result; but she flattered herself at last that a connection with the house of Comptayne was an advantage not under any circumstances to be dis pised by a Manchester cottonspinner. To keep her son up to his promise, to try to make the business as bttle distasteful as possible to his proper aristocratic feelings, was the unhappy mother's endeavour as she presided at the breakfast-table a few hours after. She said a variety of flattering things regarding Miss Stubbs, which made her daughters stare ; and, had he been risibly disposed, would have made her son laugh. The poor man was so completely out of spirits, from more reasous than one, that the absurdity of the scene was quite lost upon him, and he scarcely heard his lady mother's surmises as to whether Miss Stubbs would like this, or what Miss Stubbs would think of that; but moodily ate the food within his reach; and then walking from the room, his mother had no more opportunity of speech with him.

Lady Comptayne heard her son order his horse to be brought round immediately, and retired to her place by her husband's bed, just hastdy looking out of the window as the Captain rode by, not looking the picture of a hopeful lover; and then as quickly returned to her task of soothing her fretful helpmate, and counting the hours till their heir should come back, the affianced husband of Miss Stubbs of Manchester.

Chapter II

" He doth object My state being gall'd with my expense, I seek to heal it only by his wealth. Besides these, other bars he lays before me — My riots past, my wild societies— And tells me 'tis a thing impossible That I should love thee but as a properly." Merry Wives of Windsor. Ode friend, Captain Comptayne, having decided what course he must pursue, if he wished for any thing bke a quiet bfe at home, was not one to draw back ; moreover, independently of his promise to his mother, the more he thought about the matter, the more he felt convinced that there was really no alternative left open to him ; and that, after all, he might derive some benefit from what would certainly do no one any harm. Having, therefore, dressed himself, he repaired to his father's chamber, obtained, as opinion, from the physician in attendance, " that the sanity of Sir Hildebrande depended chiefly upon freedom from all excitement and anxiety ;" received an admoni tory shake of the head from her ladyship, and descended into the breakfast-room.

This meal, usually a dull one at " The Grange," seemed duller than ever, for the Captain did not listen to his mother's remarks made for his benefit regarding Miss Stubbs, but ate his breakfast in silence, and then left the room. He repaired to the steward's-room, where he had desired Mr. Parkinson might be in waiting ; for he felt he required some of his dismal prognostications to nerve him up for the task before him. Mr. Parkinson did not spare his details of the family embarassments, which each day seemed to increase ; and laid before his young master several very pressing demands for ugly sums of money, which this day's post had produced. This was enough ; the Captain realized the emergency, and mounting his horse, sallied forth on his errand. We remarked at the conclusion of the last chapter, that Captain Comptayne did not proceed down the old oak avenue with any of that speed said to characterise the anxious, eager, hopeful lover.

He went droopingly, slowly, with the reins hanging loose over the horse's head, and his feet dangling bstlessly out of the stirrups- He was thinking what he ought to say, and determining to whom he had better address himself first. He was also trying to find out whether he wanted the lady to reply " Yes " or " No." The latter would be infinitely less trouble to him ; he should then have asked the question, according to his promise, and though his mother might not like the answer given, that would not be his fault ; he could not marry Miss Stubbs against her consent. But, on the other hand, he might be only out of one scrape to be put into another if the lady refused ; as, no doubt, his mother would easdy find some other desirable partner, and he would have to go over the hateful business a second time.

Then, again, no man likes to be refused ; though his heart be not in the matter, his vanity is impbcated. He began to consider all points, to remember how fondly Paubna loved him, how ready she had always been to sacrifice everything for his sake, and at last reasoned himself into the conviction that, independently of the title and entailed estate, he was irresistible; that, in fact, no woman could help falling in love with him, Captain Comptayne, any more than they could help looking in at the window of a jeweller's shop. It was therefore perfectly certain that he should return home the accepted suitor of Miss Stubbs. That matter once settled, and fairly sent the rounds of all the newspapers, local and metropolitan, — the Jews would be obliging, his mother would be satisfied, and he himself, freed from all persecution, would be at liberty to arrange his affairs, and look forward to years of happiness with his Paulina.

In spite of Captain Comptayne's laxity of principle as regarded Miss Stubbs, we must draw the reader's attention to the fact, that he never seemed to idealize happiness unconnected with his wife and family ; he never entertained a notion of de serting them, never thought it possible that his private marriage might be concealed or annulled in any way : no, Paulina and his darlings were the sum and aim of all his thoughts, and the abominable conduct he was meditating towards Miss Stubbs was intended eventually to benefit them. On passing the lodge at " The Gorses," the gate keeper eyed Captain Comptayne with such evident surprise and curiosity as to startle the gallant gen tleman out of his reverie ; and he cast his eyes over his dress and accoutrements, to see what the fellow was staring at; and could scarcely help laughing outright at the grotesque figure that he saw himself to be.

With legs dangbng out of the stirrups, trousers up to his knees, for he had for gotten his straps, no gloves on his hands, and his hat slouched over his face, and reins loose ; he was an apparition— not of a gentleman on his way to make an offer with every hope of success. He turned off the road, and dismounting under a tree, proceeded to put himself in rather more lover-like trim, by drawing on his gloves, and pulling his trousers down over his boots ; and then re mounting cantered with an easy grace up the approach, and was soon at the door. He had rung the bell before he had decided who was the right person to inquire for, mechani cally asked " Is Mr. Stubbs at home ? " and found himself following the butler across the hall, with very little idea of what he intended to say first In his progress he nearly tumbled over Captain Annesley, who was coming rather hastdy out of the drawingroom, but was too much occupied with /■ his own affairs to notice him by more than a passing " How d'ye do ; " and was ushered into Mr. Stubbs's sanctum, where he found himself face to face with that gentleman, and feeling as well as looking uncommonly sheepish and uncomfort able.

Why is the term sheepish applied to people when more than usually stupid ? Captain Comptayne took the seat that was offered him, and remarked "what a cold day it was." By the way, it happened to be exceedingly hot, and the Captain's blood was at fever heat. Mr. Stubbs, with a sbghtly mischievous twinkle, assented, and inquired politely, but not pointedly, after Sir Hildebrande's health. "Quite well, thank you," was the reply. No lie was intended, but the Captain forgot at that moment that his father was ill in bed. A pause of some length ensued ; for, not liking to touch upon the event of the election, Mr. Stubbs — never having much in common with the Comp tayne genus — was at a loss what to say next, and his visitor seemed equally at his wit's end for con versation. At last, in a fit of desperation, Captain Comptayne ejaculated — " What an awful hot day ! — never felt hotter in all my life before !

" (He had opened the conversation by a quite con trary assertion.) "Very hot indeed," drily replied the Man chester man, with perfect gravity. And a few inquiries were made respecting the health of the ladies at "The Grange," which queries met with satisfactory answers. Pause number two. At last Mr. Stubbs, thinking it quite possible that they might vibrate between the weather and their mutual relatives untd sunset, and feeling doubtful whether his propensity to laugh could be restrained much longer, bethought himself to in quire of his guest — "How do you like Aldershot, Captain Comp tayne ? Do you not find it very dull, living in a hut all by yourself ? " " A deuce of a bore, Sir, altogether. I wish I could get out of the place, I am quite tired of it. A — aw — eh — that is what I came to talk to you about, Mr. Stubbs.

The fact is, Sir, I am quite tired of bving alone" (true enough), "and, you see, I want a wife — aw — and Lady Comptayne — that is VOL. II. o rumps. I thought that Miss Stubbs might just suit me." " Miss Stubbs is, I am sure, highly flattered by the good opinion of her ladyship and yourself, drily replied her uncle. " And," resumed the lover, " Lady Comptayne advised — that is I came of my own accord to ask you to consent to — a — a. I trust you have long ago seen how much we all — that is I have admired Miss Stubbs (the deuce I do) ah-au. I shall have a title by and bye — a — a — really I think that was all she told me to say " — the last sentence in a very audible sotto voce, which nearly overcame the gravity of Mr. Stubbs, who, rubbing his hands together vehemently, by way of working off the anxiety to laugh, which had become painful, said, as quietly as he could : — " Captain Comptayne, I am very much obliged for the honour you have done my niece, and am fully aware " (no one better, he thought, though he did not say) " of all the advantages which an alliance with you offers ; but I have promised never to influence my niece in any way, and can, therefore, only conduct you into her presence, and leave you there to plead your own cause, promising to be perfectly satisfied with her decision.