Two Legacies, etc

Front matter

Two [NOT TO BE READ BY SCHOOLBOYS] BY JEANIE GWYNNE BETTANY, AUTHOR OF "the house of rimmon:* WARP,LOCKandC°, LONDON andNEWYORK A LUXURY UNKNOWN IN ENGLAND. BARBER & COMPANY'S HUE THAT YOU HAVE NONE OTttEH) FRENCH COFFEE As used in Pan's, in its Highest Perfection. TENPENCE PER POUND. I his is the choicest and most carefully-selected Coffee, "roasted on the French principle," and mixed with the finest Bruges Chicory. 2 Ibs. Sample in Tins sent free for 2s. 4d. ; 5 Ibs., 5s. 6d.: 8 Ibs., Hs.lOd., by Parcels Post to any Post Town in the United Kingdom and Channel Islands. BARBER & COMPANY, 274, REGENT CIRCUS, OXFORD STREET, W, iishopsgate Street, City; II, Boro' High Street. S.E. ; 102 VVestbourne ("rove, W. ; 42^ Great Titchlield Street, W. King's Cross, N. MANCHESTER-^, Market Street. BIRMINGHAM-Quadrant, New Street HASTINGS- -Robertson Street, and Havelock Road.

BRIGHTON— M?, North Street. BRISTOL— 38, Corn Street. LIVtRPOOL— 1, Church Street ; and Minster Buildings ; and London Road PRESTON -104, Fishergate. Postal Orders /rent Is. fi>f. to Ids. GJ. can 'how be obtained for One Penny at all Post Offices. Remittances to he crossed " Lon.ton and Westminster Bank." (NOT TO BE READ BY SCHOOLBOYS). BY JEANIE GWYNNE BETTANY, AUTHOR OF "THE HOUSE OF RIMMON." WARD, LOCK AND CO. LONDON: WARWICK HOUSE, SALISBURY SQUARE, E.C. NEW YORK: BOND STREET. [All Rights Reserved.] TO MY DEAR BROTHER, JOHN HICKLING GWYNNE, ®(jia fjouh is lEnirirtglij gsirtcaieit.

Preface

I KNOW my friends Tom and Jack but too well, and have ample proof that the fragments Tom committed to my care before that dreaded schooltime arrived are unadulterated facts. It was curious that these two young scapegraces were heartily bewept and bemoaned after their enforced departure for school, and High Elms was very dull without them. I may be en lightening some schoolboys and attracting them into paths they should not tread, but am consoled by the thought that their elders will receive quite as much enlightenment as either young or old will care about. The paths, albeit those of mischief, are certainly paths of pleasantness, though not always productive of peace. If the record of their scrapes and experiences creates a little amusement in a dull world, Tom and Jack will not have lived in vain. JEANIE GWYNNE BETTANY. PAGE '3 CONTENTS.

Chapter I. We Arrive, And Show Oor Points

— GRACE BEFORE MEAT — PIC- TURES, LIKE OTHER THINGS, ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM JUVENILE CLOCKMENDING — FACING A MULTITUDE — ENCOUN- TER WITH A "HORNY-HANDED SON OF TOIL "—A RACE — A CONVENIENT CHIMNEY — UNSEASONABLE LEVITY

Chapter II. An Involuntary Bath

— A RELISH FOR THE PIGS — TATTERS — KNIFE CLEANING EXTRAORDINARY— AMATEUR GARDENING — NEW RUINS — WE ACCOST A SERVANT AND CATCH A TARTAR — PICTURE-DANGLING AND HEAD-MANGLING — AN OPERATION ON THE CHEST — LIGHT ARTILLERY — PARSON JATHAN— BROOK LAID LOW — WE RESOLVE TO SCATTER SUNBEAMS — A FEW SATISFACTORY BORES — ROPE ENOUGH TO SWING BY — WE RE- PROVE A SWEARER — THE GATES AJAR — WE BECOME CHOSEN INSTRUMENTS . 22

Chapter III. Signs And Wonders

— DIAMOND HUNTING — CLANKING CHAINS — A FEW COWS GET MIXED — CROAKER'S HOLLY TREE— STRONG MEAT FOR FINE PEOPLE — OUR KINDNESS IN DRIVING A HORSE OFF — CRUELTY TO ANIMALS — TESTING WATERPROOF — FIVE POUNDS REWARD Contents. X n 64

Chapter IV. Page

A STRIKING NOSE — STRANGE EFFECTS OF PARALYSIS — ONLY A CLOD — SINGULAR DESTRUCTION BY SMOKE— GRAVE REFLECTIONS— WE ARE MISSED— OUR OCCUPATIONS IN CHURCH — THE SLEEPER AWAKENED— AN UNUSUAL BENEDICTION — REMINI- SCENCES OF PANTOMIMES — EXPERIMENTS ON BEES — MR. FREAN AND THE MAGNET — MISS FOSS's VISION— CONSIDER- ATION FOR OUR TENDER YEARS — THE PURGATORY OF SUICIDES— A CAT AMONG BUSTS— NEW USE FOR LIBRARY STEPS — A POCKET GEM— A WET SEAT AND A FLOWING BOWL — EXTREME VALOUR OF BROOK — A FORGIVING SPIRIT — A BLOW AT IDOLATRY — WE BECOME FAMOUS . . -39

Chapter V. We Go To

A DORCAS MEETING — A TOWN-HOUSE IN THE COUNTRY — ONE COCK TOO MANY — SOULS UNAPPEASED BY RHYME — CON- TENTS OF A POCKET — A SAVAGE GANDER — TAPPING A BUTT — REMARKABLE DISAPPEARANCE OF NEEDLES — THE OLD OAK CHEST — STRANGE BEHAVIOUR OF OLD MR. FOSS— JUMPING FROM THE FRYING-PAN INTO THE FIRE — REMEDIES WORSE THAN DISEASES — A REVELA1TON BY FIRE 48

Chapter VI

A POWERFUL ODOUR — SALUTING GUESTS— A RUNAWAY RING — MR. DODLEY ON THE WATCH — ONCE HIT, TWICE SHY — PREACHING TO THE DYING — BEGINNING AT THE BEGINNING — THE RESULTS OF DICTATION — SIMPLICITY OF YOUTH — WE LEARN TiitTTU — WE REFUSE TO HOLD CONVERSE WITH OUR TUTOR — WONDERFUL MAPS— DRAWING ON PATIENCE — JACK ASPIRES TO ENTER THE CHURCH 57

Chapter VII. The Barber At

"THE BADGER's" — A FOX, BUT NO GRAPES — IMITATING SAMSON — BRAHMA-ISM — A PAIR OF FUNNY BONES — AN OWL PEN — WE LEARN A LITTLE ABOUT THE CURATE — HE LEARNS MORE ABOUT US— MR. DODLEY PREACHES A SENSA- TIONAL SERMON WITH DIRE RESULTS — A COMFORTING LETTER

Chapter VIII

" THE BRIGAND AT BAY " — HOW WE DISCHARGED MISS ELSIE'S COM- MISSION — AN ABSORBING OCCUPATION — A JOINT SALUTE — THE COURTING-HOUSE — BROOK THINKS OF SPIRITUAL THINGS — OUR DIFFICULTIES ABOUT THE SPOUT — A NEW CHIMNEY SWEEP — UNBECOMING BEHAVIOUR OF BROOK — MORE BAD CONDUCT OF CROAKER Contents. XI

Chapter IX. Paqe Hot

COPPERS— EXTRAORDINARY BARKING— HOW TO MAKE A BAD DEBT GOOD — WET PAINT — A LION ABASED— A PAINFUL POSITION — MR. FREAN'S VOICE — HOW TO WIRE CATS AND FOWLS — A CLAY ROAST — OUR CLAY CARRIED OFF — MORTIFI- CATION — ■ REVENGE — STRAY NICE — HIS UNFORTUNATE HABITS — TOUCH AND GO — STRAY NICE PERFORMS A CHURCH OFFICE — FIRE AND LIGHT — COAT REVIVING . . . . 80

Chapter X

REMORSE— AN EVERGREEN WELCOME — WE STUDY THE "TICK" QUESTION — THE BARBER'S PATENT BRAIN PROTECTOR — WE OCCUPY A HUMBLE POSITION, BUT SOON BECOME PROMI- NENT — OUR IDEA OF A FIRM HAND— WHAT TO DO WITH TIGHT BOOTS — WE TURN TO LETTERS, NOT TO OUR OWN OR OTHER PEOPLE'S ADVANTAGE — WE SECURE ATTENTION AT THE POST-OFFICE — WAS MR. JATHAN AN ISRAELITE? — AUNT IS NOT OFFENDED — MR. JATHAN IN THE ROYAL PRESENCE — DASHING THE CUP OF BLISS . . . . s9

Chapter XI. Aunt Saracen Desires

A SIGN — WRITING ON A WALL — BROOK CONFESSES— THE SIGN OF THE ROLLING REEL — WOOKEY RISF.S TO BAIT — BROOK DRAWN — WOOKEY WAILS— HEALING BALMS — A CHANGE OF MEDICINE — WE VISIT ARCHDALE HALL— A HEDGEHOG IN A DRAWING-ROOM — OUR MUSEUM — THE DEAD ALIVE AND THE LIVING MORE LIVELY 9S

Chapter XII

A SHOOTING AFFAIR — A QUESTION OF PRIVILEGE — A NICE PRESENT FOR A PARSON — KNEE DRILL — A PENNORTH OF PILLS — WE REQUIRE SATISFACTION AS GENTLEMEN — EX- PLAINING ALL— A VALIANT PROMISE AND A CUTTING PER- FORMANCE—DELIGHTFUL RESULT— HEEHAW HOBBS - WHERE ARE THE BOTTLES, MISS FOSS ? — BRIDGING CHASMS — A TRAGEDY . . • 109

Chapter XIII. Called Back

— STRANGE RESEMBLANCES BETWEEN PARSONS — WHISPERINGS BY THE WAY — MICROSCOPIC RESEARCHES — I SEARCH FOR ADVENTURES — CROAKER INVITED TO DINNER — I DISPENSE PEPPER AND WHITEWASH— CROAKER'S FALL — A PROLONGED AND UNCONSCIOUS STARE- A KNIGHT AND HIS LADY'S RIBBON— A FEW CHANGES AT CHURCH — DIGGINS AND THE NEW CHOIR— THE CHURCH IS HAUNTED — BROOK TURNS HIS TROUSERS — A PIE-OUS FRAUD AND A SOAPY TRANSACTION Contents XII

Chapter XIV. Page Aunt Octavia's Arrival

— WE ARRANGE FOR HER COMFORT — SHE HAS A VISITATION AT NIGHT — A DISH OF CURLS — MR. JATHAN UPSETS A BEAUTY — A STUDY OF A FACE — STARTLING REVELATION— A CHARCOAL PICTURE — BROOK'S PENNY — BROOK ENGAGES THE CURATE— THE PRESIDENT OF THE LEVELLING SOCIETY . . ........ 131

Chapter XV. We Assist At Brook's Toilet

— AN EXTENSIVE WARDROBE — HEIGHO, SING HOLLY ! — BROOK SPOILS JACK'S PEN — BROOK'S ILLUSTRIOUS ANCESTRY — THE GREAT G.A. — ARRANGING TO RECEIVE THE PRESIDENT — BROOK DOES HIS LEVEL BES1 — THE LEVELLING SOCIETY LEVELLED ...... I40

Chapter XVI. Brook Washes His Hands In Innocence

— HE RECEIVES A CUT DIRECT— HE RESOLVES TO BLOW IN EARLY SPRING —A ONE- SIDED AFFAIR - BROOK IS DOCTORED — HEAVY DAMAGES — SAM- SON AND DELILAH — PETITIONING THE DOCTOR— BROOK'S LAST STRAW— HE GIVES NOTICE — A NEW WAY TO RICHES — WEDDING BELLS ARE OUR KNELLS — SENTENCED TO SCHOOL . . . 1

Chapter I. We Arrive, And Show Our Points

— GRACE BEFORE MEAT PICTURES, LIKE OTHER THINGS, ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM JUVENILE CLOCKMENDING FACING A MULTITUDE ENCOUNTER WITH A " HORNY-HANDED SON OF TOIL" A RACE A CONVENIENT CHIMNEY UNSEASONABLE LEVITY. To be boys is bad enough in some people's eyes : to be legacies is infinitely worse. When Jack and I arrived, and had the door shut behind us, and blinked in the lamplight of Aunt Saracen's dining-room, and she said : " So ! " ; we really did think there was something very bad in being legacies. The word itself might mean anything, we thought ; but the tone was decidedly not favourable. It was followed up by something which, while we doubted its being true, we could not help sympathising with, after a fashion, the only fashion we knew. " Somebody's always leaving me a legacy of this sort," said Aunt Saracen, looking at us through her gold spectacles.

According to this, the house ought to have been full of boys, which it was not. We knew them. We should have seen a head somewhere, or heard a cracker somewhere, or have been caught in cotton as we passed through the bushes, jf any boys had been about. Aunt Saracen continued looking at us much as we'd seen poor dad look at a half-finished painting of his, which he was not quite sure whether to take kindly to or not. The thought of poor dad in his grave away in Switzerland seemed to possess both Jack and me at the moment ; and I expect our faces looked a little rueful, which was probably a good thing for us, for Aunt Saracen took off the dreadful glasses, and wiped them, and stretched out a comfortable beringed hand to each of us. " Well, my little legacies," she said in a much gentler tone, " come here, that I may look at you closer.

Yes, you are like, very like ; " and then, " what do you choose for supper, boys ? " It was an unfortunate question, for it took away all our attractiveness in a moment. We became boys, not reflections of a loved brother. She was horrified at what we suggested ; which was a little too bad, seeing she had asked us. She rang the bell, and the servant arrived, and supper was ordered for us, little to our taste, and we ate it, when produced, not with a very good grace. Something queer happened at the beginning of the meal. Aunt Saracen sat down at the table with us, and then bobbed her head down over the cloth. We naturally thought she was going to say grace, so we bobbed our heads too. There was dead silence for a few minutes. It was awful to hear that clock ticking. I was opposite to it, and opened my eyes a thread, just to see the pendulum that kicked up such a fuss.

Then I saw Jack looking at me, and out of my side eye I saw Aunt Saracen with her eyes closed, just waiting. I think I shouldn't have laughed if Jack hadn't kicked me under the table ; and I think then I should have cut it short if Aunt Saracen hadn't snapped her eyes open, and uttered a cry of pain. We were all at one end of the table. The cloth wasn't laid all over, for us. And Jack, as he told me afterwards, had administered a second kick, for which Aunt Saracen had come in. We did laugh, however, and were so uncomfortable, that our excitement kept us up pretty fair. Of course, it was Aunt Saracen's fault partly ; for if she hadn't looked so solemn all the time, and kept so silent, we should have shut up sooner. But she just looked at one and then the other, and we just roared. It was a long time before she could get a word in, and then she said : "Well.

Your father has not taught you to respect religion, either of you." She meant, to respect her ankles, but no matter. Any nail does to hang a row on, and I'm sure Jack wanted to apologise, only he daren't speak. I spoke for him. "You see, aunt," I began, with a sober face that set Jack off afresh, "we thought you were going to ask the blessing " " Indeed," interrupted my aunt, very sharply ; " and do you and your brother usually administer vicious kicks when you wish to hasten anyone ?" This enlightened me, fully. " He didn't do it on purpose," I observed, looking down at my meat with some disfavour; "it was me he meant to kick." "And is that the way you behave while grace is said?" " It wasn't said," I observed, faintly. My aunt looked from one to the other with a horrified expression. We didn't know she was High Church then, nor about the parson at St. Jude's. But, no matter : that came soon enough.

" You must be twelve," she said to me, looking pityingly at my red countenance. " And John, I suppose, is eighteen months younger. And yet you have never learnt " I hastened to explain, for I saw her drift. " I suppose we were all waiting for each other, aunt. I thought it would be forward in me to ask the blessing when you were there." A dawning smile lighted her countenance, a sign ve;y valuable to youth, and erring youth. " Yet," she said, her smile breaking into something more, " you don't look backward, either of you ; " and then we all three laughed, and things went on very well, till Jack, who had been staring at one of the pictures on the crowded wall, suddenly asked " If that old castle were something or other," I didn't catch what. " Castle ? " said aunt, interrogatively. " What castle ?

" Jack pointed to the picture, and said : " I couldn't make it out at all at first, that's why I looked at it so long, and I made out the lake in the corner." " That," said my aunt, with a look of annoyance, " that is a table of dessert, and what you call a lake, is a skull. A most valuable picture I picked up at Florence." Jack went on eating, and so did I. I looked round at the picture, and could make out nothing whatever, but impene trable gloom, except that one lighter portion Jack had called a lake. We didn't offend any further that night, and were de lighted with the nice room prepared for us; but more especially with a pear tree that climbed up close to our window, very handy to get down by. There was no fruit on it, it wasn't the season ; but there were a lot of flowers. There was a regular orchard out there, and all the trunks of the trees were painted white.

We felt very comfortable, and were glad dad had left us to this widowed aunt, whom we thought we could manage, and who had an orchard. i 7 We went to sleep with a resoluiion to explore this new land at dawn, and slept pretty soon, because we had travelled so far, and the beds were soft. The pillows had frills on them— that is, their covers had, and there was a white quilt for each of us. We were sorry for that, because there were things we played at with the beds for tables, and the marks might show7. But Jack said we could take them off. We woke before dawn, though it came very early. There was a spasmodic clock outside our door, on the landing, which kicked up a hullabaloo, and struck twenty. We had an engineering taste, we two, and Jack said : " There's something up with that clock, Tom.

I vote we try and find out what it is, and put it right, and establish our selves here." I liked the idea. " Yes," said I ; " it would please Aunt Saracen no end if the clock were put right ; only we must wait for daylight." We wished our boxes had come, for there were some candles and matches in one of them, and Aunt Saracen had taken away the candle when we were in bed. So we just lay and talked till dawn came : and then we got up and dressed ourselves, and slipped out on to the landing. Yes ; there was the clock, fitting in neatly between floor and ceiling, with a scary kind of face and black pinnacles; and it was ticking away just as if it were any use to anybody, and marking twenty minutes to eleven. It was a gone case with that clock. We opened the case, and looked in. There were the weights hanging down, and a pendulum something like a bed warmer.

Of course, the works were at the top. So we fetched a chair to take the face off. Those hands were rotten; one broke. Jack said it was my fault for pulling at the face before they were taken off". But I don't see how that could have done it. I only lifted up one corner when the screws were taken out, to sniff, and find out what the horrid smell was in it. "I reckon we'd better put it right now," I said; "and then they won't mind about the hands." But the face wouldn't come off. There was a hitch some where. It got a little bent. This was rather hard on us, when we had meant to be so obliging, and show we were some use. " We'd better take the top off," I suggested. " They are always loose to this sort of clock ; and we can get the works out that way." I was the tallest, so I hauled at it ; and it scraped the ceiling dismally, bringing down the plaster in Jack's eye.

But that wasn't what he grumbled at. He had two reasons for that, quite different ones. One was that a shower of black articles came down on him. The other was that I followed, and came down on him too. The back of the chair broke. It must have been a wretched old thing. And then, when we did look round, we just stared : but we got up pretty quick. Never was such a sight. The whole landing swarming with cockroaches — whoppers : all out of that confounded clock. " Never mind," said Jack, faintly. " We've found out why the clock's so funny ; and they'll be no end pleased." But they weren't. How I do hate servant-men ! There was one there, and he came. He wasn't afraid of beetles, and wasn't appreciative of what we'd done in finding out what was up with the clock. He picked up that lid, and tilted it against the wall, and out came a lot more cockroaches.

And then he backed on to the broken chair, and nearly fell down, which made him madder, only he didn't show it in the way any man of sense would. He just turned on us ; and a scarecrow he was : made us both die of laughing. He had put on some trousers and a belt, and he had a white shirt, and he was just swarming with cockroaches. He shouldn't have taken up the lid. Servant-men's hands are very hard and horny. It's the work they do, I suppose ; and they don't know their duty to young gentlemen. The way that man collared us, and shoved us into our bedroom was too bad. Cockroaches had come in under the door. There were a great many, and they were very diverting. Jack had got a piece of chalk in one of his pockets, that we had used on the journey, to draw railway guards on the carriages, and he drew a ring on the carpet and we hauled some cockroaches in it, and betted on them, calling them by the names of race horses.

Nobody knows how comforting a cockroach can be. But comfort is short-lived. We could not get the rings out of that carpet after, and. Jack needn't have used the pillowslip to rub with; a towel would have done. About that pillowslip. It was all because of the frills. Jack had taken his off because he had nothing to do, to play Sir Charles Grandison with. He put it on with his night shirt, and the frills outside ; and that was how it came so handy for rubbing up the floor. On the whole we thought it better to destroy that pillowslip, so we rammed it up the chimney to wait for a fitting opportunity. Then Jack said the pillow looked mighty queer without it, and that had better go up the chimney too. We didn't know about the fire that was going to be lit. That came after. Jack said aunt would think the housemaid had only put us one, then they'd pity us.

Somebody said life is sunshine and shadow. It was one of the artists who came to our house used to say that when he was going to borrow off dad. But it is true : for when Jack and I were feeling pretty doleful about the pillow and pillowslip, in case the housemaid should not be blamed, sunshine came in the shape of Brook, that's the man with the hard hand. He hadn't much hair. It was a sort of fringe round his ears, and stuck out like horns. Well, he put his head in the room to tell us something. We didn't listen, for we knew it was something unkind. But when we saw a cockroach perambulating round his head, like the little railway in Wales round the mountain, we just doubled up. It beat Drury Lane into nothing. He had a cast in one eye, but could look pretty severe with the other. Some people have heads that invite a bolster.

Brook's was one. We didn't mean any harm. Jack got his bolster first : to knock the cockroach off, he told Brook after, only old Brook wouldn't believe him. And then, as everybody knows, bolstering is contagious, and I got mine, and the bolsterslip got torn. Another rotten old thing. Aunt Saracen had breakfast in bed that morning. But she came down to read prayers, and all the servants came in. Brook was there, on a chair nearest the door. He hadn't told aunt yet, and I suppose she hadn't seen the clock. We said " Good morning " to her when she came in. Then we all sat round, and she opened the prayer-book. We were opposite the door, and we couldn't help looking at Brook sometimes, and whenever we did, his north eye was fixed on us. It wasn't his eye that got us into trouble ; there was nothing funny in that.

It was like a codfish's, only sterner. It was the way he jerked his hand up behind his head and scratched, and then swung it down to his knees, or some other place. And all through the spasmodic pantomime he looked deprecatingly with his available eye towards Aunt Saracen. She didn't notice him, till all at once he brought his elbow bang into the panel of the door, with such a sound that Aunt Saracen let go the prayer-book, and the maids squealed, and we laughed. Of course the lot fell on Jonah. It must have been the remembrance of the night before. " This is the first occasion," began our aunt, " that prayer time has been invaded with levity," and she looked straight at us two. Brook muttered something about cockroaches, and was cut short. " When I wish for a remark from you, Brook," said Aunt Saracen, severely — the last of her remark was lost on us, because Brook shook his fist at us at the side of his chair.

Prayers didn't go on. The servants were sent out, and then we had a private preach, and said we were sorry, and all kinds of rot; and then she kissed us, and told us to go and look at the garden. She didn't know about the clock, you see.

Chapter II. An Involuntary Bath

— A RELISH FOR THE PIGB TATTERS KNIFE CLEANING EXTRAORDINARY AMATEUR GARDEN- ING — NEW RUINS — WE ACCOST A SERVANT AND CATCH A TARTAR— PICTURE-DANGLING AND HEAD-MANGLING — AN OPERATION ON THE CHEST — LIGHT ARTILLERY — PARSON JATHAN — BROOK LAID LOW — WE RESOLVE TO SCATTER SUNBEAMS — A FEW SATISFACTORY BORES — ROPE ENOUGH TO SWING BY WE REPROVE A SWEARER — THE GATES AJAR — WE BECOME CHOSEN INSTRUMENTS. We went out the back way, and passed the scullery door ; they called it the brewhouse, because they did mangling in it. There were big weights on the mangle. We bore them in mind. There was a machine for cleaning boots, and Brook had been catching cockroaches all the time before breakfast, so he was going to clean the boots now. We didn't want to rile him, only to keep him out of the way a bit ; but they always put a wrong motive to it whatever we did.

"Supposing," said Jack in a whisper, "we wet the polishing brushes." The thing worked with a treadle, so he wouldn't know by the touch that the brushes were wet. We had just finished it when we heard someone coming. We couldn't get out by the door then, else they'd be sus pecting us. There was a big copper in one corner, and a trap door behind it to let the steam out, which led into a toolhouse, and Jack got out that way all right. But the lid tilted when I passed over, and I fell into the copper. It wasn't that I minded about ; it was what was in it. They used it for boiling up the stuff the pigs ate, mixed with meal and things ; and it was in then. The fire wasn't lit under it, though, or else it had gone out. I went through the trap door all the same, and barked my shins on a hoe, getting down on the other side ; tore my stocking a good deal.

We wore knickerbockers, Jack and I did. It's nasty to leave a track behind one ; and as I crossed the yard there were mealy footmarks, with an occasional portion of cabbage and whatnot. The pigs grunted when we passed the sty on the way to the kitchen-garden. Jack said they could smell the meal. We thought we'd like to have a look at them, so we climbed up on the wall and dangled a bit. There was a big sow with a long nose, and a lot of young ones, and she tore my stockings more, though I suppose she only wanted to lick off the meal. We messed up the wall, rather. There were some vegetable marrows growing round at the back. The soil was nice and loamy. We were not malicious, we only wanted to amuse ourselves ; besides, we'd got a new knife each, and had messed up the blades when we were cutting the cushions of the railway carriage, coming down, to see what was inside.

It wasn't the cushions that messed them, themselves, but the soda water that we'd spilt all over the seat, and that had soaked in. Loamy soil cleans knife-blades. We dug ours in among the marrow plants. How could we know we cut the roots through ? We got into the kitchen-garden. There were no end of things there. We found a bag labelled turnip seed, under a shed ; we filled our pockets ; we thought it would do for aunt's front border. There'd be such a lark when it came up. The front was done with carpet gardening, and we thought how nice stars and half-moons of turnip plants would look. It wasn't a bad garden at all, and there was another on the other side of the hedge, so we went through it. There wasn't a hole, or else we shouldn't have made one ; and we shouldn't have made it so big, only we didn't want to tear our clothes any more.

They'd got a good many raspberry canes, and a large deep hole with grass at the bottom, and a well, and some ruins like a church built in it with a lion on the top. The sun was shining in the windows, so they'd got the blinds down in the house that belonged to it. We wondered how the ruins would look without the lion ; we wished we could shove it off, but we thought night would be the best time. We sowed a few turnips among the ferns and other things that grew in this hole, and then came out of it, and saw a servant standing at the top of the steps. She looked very cross, so we told her she ought to match it off with Brook, next door ; and we said we should like to go to church with them, and some other things, which we meant to be friendly, and to put her at her ease. And then if she didn't let fly like a screech owl ; said she was a friend of Aunt Saracen's, and the mistress, and a lot more, which we didn't listen to, because we never listened to anything unkind.