Drifting Clouds. By E. B

Front matter

"DRIFTING CLOUDS. BY E. B. U TWO VOLUMES. VOL. I. LONDON: E. MARLBOROUGH & CO. BATH: BINNS & GOODWIN. BATH : PRINTED BY BINNS AND GOODWIN h EDICATION. TO MY AUNT E. C. L. IT IS WITH MUCH PLEASURE THAT I DEDICATE MY FIRST WORK TO ONE WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY MOST TRUE AND SINCERE FRIEND. THERE MAY BE MANY FAULTS, BUT I KNOW THAT THE KIND EYES WHICH WILL REST UPON THESE PAGES WILL READILY APPRECIATE WHATEVER MERIT THEY MAY POSSESS, AND PASS LIGHTLY OVER THE IMPERFECTIONS. E. B. October, 1863. CONTENTS.

A Secret Correspondence Discovered . .

Chapter I. Going

! AND FOE HOW LONG A TIME ? " And must we part ! Well, if we must — we must, and in that case The less is said the better." "I am afraid you will never think of me, Lilly Belle, when I am far away," exclaimed a young officer, as he lent over the back of a sofa, on which reclined, half buried in cushions, a very pretty girl, who could scarcely have numbered more than sixteen summers. "I shall leave the shores of happy England next week, not to return to it for ten dreary long years; and before two have passed over your head you will have quite forgotton me, and all that is. connected with me." Cf " Nay, Frank, that is really untrue ; I never forget E old friends;" and the speaker raised her beautiful eyes for an instant to his eager face, as he bent down to catch her words. " I am quite sure I shall always remember you, even if you were away for twice the length of time ; I could not forget my cousin — one whom I have known for so many, many years, even from babyhood, but in all probability it will not be long e'er you cease to recollect that there is such an indi vidual in the world as my unworthy self ; for I must remind you that England is not the only country which boasts of beauty, and I have heard that there are many pretty and attractive girls in India."

" Time will show," he answered, drawing himself up to his full height, and gazing proudly on the sweet face of his cousin, upturned to his. " It is a long period to look forward to, certainly ; ten years ! you will scarcely know me again when next we meet." " You will be very stern, very brown, and very old," said the maiden, demurely; " I expect I shall take you for some grand Turk, returned from the Indies, and I shall certainly never dream that you are my old cousin Frank, my companion in cricket, and the only one I ever succeeded in beating when running a race." " Really, Lilla, that is too bad," answered the young officer, laughing; what would anyone think if they were to hear you say so. A fairy like you to beat me in run ning ! It is a comfort to know that they would smile at the bare idea of such an event."

" Smile, indeed ! Well, they might if they chose, I only know I did do so on one occasion, and that you cannot deny. You may blush if you like, but it is im possible to repudiate the charge. If you attempt it, I shall bring forward somebody to prove its truth, for there were several people present, and uncle William declared publicly that I won the race." "Ah! fair Lilla, I must remind you of one fact, namely, that my foot slipped, and it was all owing to your hat lying in my path." " It is all very fine ; I daresay I also could make quite as many excuses for not having reached the place of destination sooner than I did, if I were only to make the attempt; but it is so long ago now, and perhaps, not worth the while." <; It does, indeed, appear an age since we played on the lawn on those sunny summer days," he murmured half sadly.

" All is changed now ; I have worked hard since then, passed my examination, been placed in a regiment, and am now ordered out to India, there to remain until I can manage to return on sick leave." " Don't speak so desparingly, Frank ; we shall soon receive a letter, written in the most rapturous terms, and I should not be surprised if at the end of the time you were to confess that you were content to remain in your present disagreeable quarters for another tedious ten years." "I think not; yet still I may perhaps feel more reconciled to my lot, when I am once comfortably settled there; but my happiness will greatly depend on the number, and the length of the letters I receive from home ; therefore I trust my' correspondents wHl have a little compassion upon me." " You will not have any cause for complaint, if we hear regularly from you, but of course if you do not write long epistles, you must not expect them."

" My father is a wretched correspondent, and I have no kind sister at home to whom I may look for a monthly journal, when the mail arrived ; consequently, there is no likelihood of my neglecting to write, or I fear I should never receive any tidings of those I have known and loved so dearly. I must go abroad, and become accustomed to new friends and new scenes; but still it is very7 hard to leave all the old haunts, and kind familiar faces 1 have known so long." Just then the door of the apartment was thrown open, and a clear boyish voice exclaimed, "Well, I declare, you are sitting here still. Frank must he starved. He was out shooting the whole of the after noon, and I do not believe he has had a morsel of dinner yet. I should say he ought to have something substantial for tea which is now waiting your will and pleasure, in the dining-room, and I am in search of mama."

The door again closed ; Lilla Howard arose from the sofa ; looked at her watch, and found it was eight o'clock ; expressed her regret that she had not asked before if Frank had dined, and proposed their repairing to the dining-room. They crossed the hall, and entered a large and handsomely furnished apartment on the opposite side, where the hissing urn, and recherche service of delicate china, proclaimed the truth of the statement previously made, that the tea awaited their will and pleasure. Lilla seated herself at the table, and Frank placed himself by her side. A few minutes after, Mrs. Howard passed the window, accompanied by her son, who had at length succeeded in finding her at the other end of the garden, busily engaged in reading the last new novel which had been sent her from the neighbouring town.

Chapter II. The Mother And Home

" 'Tis lonely in the desert, When eye osman may scan O'er all the wide, wide waste of sand, No trace of fellow -man ; * * But loneliest in the city, Whose streets with thousands loud Have not one voice to welcome us ; N o haud from out the crowd Stretched forth to greet us palm to palm, In genial brotherhood. Hermits lone these far transcend. Who have' fellows, but no friend." — E. The dining-room was a dark gloomy looking apart ment ; the walls of which were lined with portraits of grave cavaliers, and fair dames in quaint dresses, so stiff and unnatural, that theyr appeared more like wooden figures than living beings; and yet the lady to whom they belonged would not have parted with them for any sum that could have been named, unless abso lutely obliged to do so. The windows were heavy and massive, with small panes of glass, and the light which attempted to make its way through them, was further diminished by thick, dark velvet curtains, whose folds swept the floor, whilst the rays of the sun which suc ceeded in penetrating through the casements, fell on heavy and cumbrous furniture of polished oak.

Mrs. Howard, the lady to whom this mansion be longed, was a widow, whose husband had died a short time previously ; married at an early age, she had led a life of gay excitement ever since, and being remarkable for her extreme beauty, she commanded, rather than asked the homage w-hich had now become almost essential to her being; courted and flattered when a mere child, she had made one of the first matches in the county when scarcely sixteen, aud had since spent the greater part of each year either in town, or at some fashionable watering place, only returning to the Hall when the lowness of her funds rendered such a pro ceeding absolutely requisite. Consequently, she knew nothing of her poorer neighbours ; and when by chance she met in her daily walks any of thevillagers, she neither knew their names, nor even where they lived, although they were her husband's tenants, and often longed for a kind word from the proud and beautiful lady whom all admired so much, but who was loved by none.

Lilla, and Charles, a boy of fifteen, who was rather more than a year younger than his sister, were her only children. Very irksome to the beautiful widow, who was still in the bloom of womanhood, was the retirement in which she had been obliged to remain since her husband's death. Dependant for her happiness on gaiety and the world's applause, each duty and amusement was weariness and disgust to her in her village home, although she was there surrounded with all the luxury and comfort that could be devised. Lilla resembled her mother in many respects, yet she was very different, for she possessed several redeeming points which were not to be met with in the character of Mrs. Howard. Never having left her home to be educated elsewhere, she had been brought up entirely under the care of a governess, who had not endeavoured to bring out those noble qualities with which she was naturally endowed.

Thus the pride which she inherited from her mother had been fos tered, and it was only the sweetness of her disposition, which had prevented her from becoming a spoilt an d petted child. Although she could not boast of Mrs- Howard's perfect beauty, yet she was generally far more admired ; her features were more delicate, and the expression of her face would have been very winning were it not for the haughty look which so often rested upon them ; she did not possess her mother's majestic carriage or commanding height, but her form was far more graceful, and although above the medium height, she scarcely appeared as tall as those around her, yet many thought her proud and unbending, for she could be most cold and distant when she chose. Charles was unlike his mother and sister in one respect, for he was free from all pride, yet he was indolent to the last degree, and fearfully extravagant in all his expenditure.

Knowing little of the value of money ; having always been told that there was nothing in the world which he might not have if he wished, he was constantly squandering it on the smallest trifles, and continually harassing Mrs. Howard by fresh demands on her purse. The sum required, however, was never denied, and thus he was encouraged in his expensive habits, for he was considered perfection, not only in the village where his handsome person, and engaging manners rendered him a general favourite, but also in his own home, where his every will and caprice was gratified, for he was almost idolized by his proud mother. Now, as they entered the room together, her eye rested fondly on his animated countenance, as he narrated some deed of bold adventure which he had performed when out with his gun that afternoon, and pro ceeded to relate how the old gamekeeper had declared that "he was a perfect Howard, and the exact image of his revered grandfather of blessed memory."

The mother unbent as she listened to her son's tale, but she resumed all her stately grandeur as she caught sight of Lilla and Frank at the further end of the apartment, and as she advanced to meet her nephew, no one would have known her for the same person who had entered the room a 'minute before, her hand resting on her son's arm. It was in a strange and altered tone that she exclaimed, as she held out her hand, '' How do you do Frank. I think it must be nearly a fortnight since I last saw either you or your father ; indeed, I am quite sure that a week must have elapsed since my brother thought proper to call upon me ; certainly his visits are few and far between, and I must, say he does not often trouble himself to drive over to the Hall. A slight smile passed over the face of the young man, as he answered, "My dear Aunt, I am ashamed to say that I have been here every day during the past week, but I have always missed you ; for either you were gone for your drive, for your daily promenade, or else you were hidden in some remote region, whence it was impossible to discover your retreat, and thus I was obliged to depart without catching a glimpse of you.

My father has really been very busy lately ; he is always in his studyr, or else I am sure he would have driven over with me to see you." " I am glad he has been employed in a profitable manner. Perhaps you will inform him that I should feel greatly obliged by his sparing me a little of his valuable time when he is at leisure." " Certainly ; and I am quite sure he will obey your commands immediately. Lilla, allow me to pass those cups of tea. May I not give you some cake, or bread and butter ?" " No, thank you, Frank ; at least not directly ; but as Charlie said just now, jTou ought to have a substan tial tea, therefore I hope you will not follow my bad example. There is cold meat on the sideboard, and I think something warm under the cover at the bottom of the table. Had you good sport this afternoon ?

" " Yes, very fair ; Charlie performed two or three exploits as usual. He will make a brave soldier when he has entered the army. Do you ever fancy going to India ? " he added, turning to his cousin. " Not if I can remain in old England ; but of course I shall go when duty calls me ; and I believe, at any rate, I flatter myself that if I were ordered out to some distant country, I should leave my home with a better grace than you, Frank." " Do not boast, Sir. It is a hard trial, and you do not know yet what you will be tempted to do or say, when that period arrives. In the first place I do not believe Aunt Augusta would be able to part with you, and that in all probability every means would be em ployed to remove you into another regiment." " I trust he may never be called upon to leave us," said Mrs. Howard coldly.

There is no great likeli hood of his ever entering the army ; it is not a profession I particularly admire, or approve of; every young man appears to have a predilection for the life of a soldier, in the present day, therefore I should prefer his being in the church, or the law, and I have some thought of his becoming a barrister." " Never, my good mother, with my will and consent ; therefore the sooner you abandon that precious idea the better. No stupid law writing for me, thank you ; and as for the church, I would not be a parson for any amount you might name. I could not stand any hard work, and preaching every Sunday to a dull congrega tion, would be beyond my powers of endurance. No profession would suit me (as being an unlucky fellow, I must be in one), but the army. What say you, Frank ?

You have had a trial." " Why, I am afraid, that if you require a life of per fect ease and idleness you would not like any profession, and it is my humble opinion that you will soon become tired of the daily drill, and that occasionally a wish may arise, that you might be allowed to escape even from the duties attendant upon a soldier's career." " Then I vote for no work at all. By the bye mother, the holidays end on the 13th, but of course I shall not go back to the drudgery of Eton until the Monday, as it will be useless my leaving here before then ; I shall lose nothing by remaining a little longer with you." " Perhaps not ; but I fancied you ought to return on the Friday. Did I not hear you tell your Uncle William so ?" " Well, I daresay you are right, but then I have a great inclination to rest here as long as possible, and if you were very good-natured, you would allow me to do so.

You cannot imagine what a comfort I should be to you !" " A great comfort, indeed," said Lilla, with a half scornful smile, " when we rarely ever catch sight of you. When are you ever ready to descend when the breakfast bell rings ? or when do you ever make your ap pearance at lunch ? The dinner hour is the only occasion on which we are favoured with your company. " Do not be too hard upon me, Lilla. You cannot tell how I am obliged to work when I am at Eton ! If you were in my place, like me, you would wish to obtain as much rest as possible during the holidays." " Talking of ' rest' reminds me that I ought not to remain here any longer," exclaimed Frank, rising. "I am afraid my father considers I neglect him too much as it is ; I have now been absent nearly the whole of the day. Sir Guy will, however, soon take me home.

He has been so good since you patted him, Lilla." " I am pleased to hear my correction had a beneficial effect. Poor Sir Guy ! We shall miss him when you have left. He and I were always remarkably good friends." ■" I trust you will also miss the owner," said Frank in a low tone, as he wished her goodbye. Then turning to shake hands with Charlie and his aunt, he left the room, and before long, the retreating footsteps of his horse might be heard as he passed down the avenue. Slowly, and with his head bent down as if he were intently gazing at the silky hair of his horse's mane, did Frank Egerton ride through that long shady walk, with its ancient and beautiful elms on either side, but when he had once reached the high road, and was in the free open country, the reins were loosened, and the noble animal dashed rapidly forwards towards home.

Thoughts of other times, and far different scenes, passed as rapidly through the brain of his master, as he was borne swiftly onwards. He tried to recollect when he had first seen Lilla, his pretty and fascinating cousin) but she seemed so bound up in all the events of his life, that it appeared an impossibility to remember when he had first known her. Certainly, she had always been much younger and smaller than himself. He recollected when she was a mere baby, and he was glad when she became more his own age —able to enter into his different pursuits and studies, for she was his only companion, there being few gentlemen's seats in the neighbourhood ; consequently few boys of his own standing, and not one for whom he really cared. Lilla had been everything to him ; he had gone to her in all his troubles ; he had applied to her when perplexed by any difficulty, and she had generally been able to help him out of them ; he had found her an amusing companion when tired of study, and often her clear head had succeeded in solving problems, which had been almost too difficult for him.

As he had lost his mother at an early age, he had found no great attraction at home, where his father was generally to be found, buried amongst his books and papers ; thinking little, and perhaps caring less, for the mother less boy, who was thus thrown entirely upon the care of servants. It is no wonder, therefore, that when a child, Frank Egerton was oftener to be seen at the Hall than at the Grange, and it was always supposed, when he was no where to be found, that he had gone to Woodley, the village where Mrs. Howard resided ; for although she was usually absent from home for the greater part of the year, yet it was seldom that she took Lilla and the governess with her, considering it wiser that they should remain in the country. Years rolled on, and the boy strove to obtain a home for himself and a name in the world, that he might share them with his fair cousin.

She had rarely left Woodley, so he concluded that she could not have formed any attachment unknown to him. His father had decided upon sending him into the army, as the quickest and easiest way of settling him in a profession, and although he had not alto gether liked the choice, yet he had acquiesced to his father's proposal, and having passed the examination, was posted to a marching regiment. Even the thoughts of leaving the neighbourhood had been a severe trial to him, and at first he had felt it almost an impossi bility to quit England without taking Lilla with him. Knowing this to be quite out of the question, he had endeavoured to obtain from her a promise to become his, when he should succeed in ohtaining leave to return home ; but this she would not do, and he was greatly afraid that her affection for him was of a very cousinly nature.

He had been much perplexed by all she had said and done that day, for sometimes he had almost im agined that she really cared for him, then again, he had afterwards felt as equally certain that it was not of the slightest consequence to her whether he went abroad or not. It was with a feeling of relief that he passed through the gates which led into the grounds surrounding the Grange, and he quickly dismounted at the door of that home which had never been a very bright or cheerful one to him. c

Chapter III. The Departure

" Where'er a tear is dried, or wounded heart Bound up ; a bruised spirit with the dew Of sympathy anointed, or a pang Of honest suffering soothed ; or injury Repeated oft, as oft by love forgiven ; Where'er an evil passion is subdued, Or virtue's feeble embers found ; where'er A sin is heartily abjured and left, There is a high and holy place, a spot Of sacred light, a most religious fane, Where happiness descending sits and smiles. Pollok. " Who knows what may happen ? Patience — and shuffle the cards, perhaps, after all, I shall some day go to Rome, and come back, St. Peter." Longfellow. It was a beautiful morning towards the end of summer, so fair and balmy ; one on which every human being ought to feel happy and light-hearted, for nature was radiant, and overflowing with loveliness. Very fresh and green appeared all the shrubs and flowers around the Hall; the weather had been showery the day before, but the rain seemed to have gladdened the earth, clearing and purifying the air, and allaying the dust on the dry, parched ground.

The roses were in all their luxuriance, as if they wished to startle the beholder by their beauty, before they passed away for the summer. Sweet and clinging creepers twined around them, nestling their fairy cups and bells among the green leaves of the rose trees ; they seemed to entreat them to remain yet a little longer with them, to share the warmth of the pleasant sunbeams, which were now throwing their golden light upon the wooded glens around the house, lighting up the church spire, and many roofs of the cottages in the village, which might be seen in the distance. Lilla Howard stood at the open window of the library ; as she lent forward to pluck one of the flowery sprays which grew beside the casement, the sun poured some of its beams upon her dark hair, and the breeze slightly ruffled the many tresses of the shining curls, causing her to look very pretty at that moment.

The sunny look passed from her face, however, as she once more stood erect in the gloomy grandeur of the library; then, as her glance roved over the surrounding scene, a look of pride lighted up her dark eye, for she remembered that they were the possessors of all she beheld. She started, for she heard a footstep on the grass, and Frank Egerton stood beside her; she had not seen him as he crossed the lawn, and she was rather taken by surprise. His face was pale, and he looked more grave and sad than she had ever seen him before. She was touched, and asked him to come into the house. At first he refused, but at length he yielded, saying, he would wish them all good-bye; but he could not stay, as he must be off by the next train, and he had just heard the church clock strike eleven. He had no sooner entered the library, than Mrs. Howard made her appearance, followed by Charlie, who had that in stant descended, and was in search of his breakfast, when he had recognized Frank's voice in the Hall.

Mrs. Howard sank lanquidly into an arm-chair near the window, and asked her nephew if the time was fixed for his departure. " The train starts about twelve, I believe, and I must stop at the Grange," said Frank, "just to see my father before I leave. I fear he will be very lonely when I am gone," he continued ; " may I ask you, Lilla, to look in upon him sometimes after I have left." " Certainly," she exclaimed, all the friendliness of her nature aroused at the moment, " and anythin" else that I can do for you." " Only one little thing more," he replied, as he bent over her whilst she stood near the table: " think of me sometimes during my absence." " Can I ever forget such an old friend, Frank ?" she answered. He sighed as he turned away, for the words were indifferent, although the tone was kind.

" I must not stay any longer," he said, "for I must start very shortly now." Mrs. Howard rose to bid him farewell. Her manner was as cold and stately as usual, but this did not surprise him, for she had never attempted to supply the place of a mother, to the child who had so often yearned for the love and sympathy of those around him. It was almost a wonder that he had not grown up cold and selfish, but his naturally warm and affec tionate heart had prevented this from being the case, and he still continued to care for those who had always shown so little concern for his welfare. " This is one of the delights of a soldier's life," exclaimed Frank, as he grasped his Cousin Charlie's hand ; " it is so pleasant to leave one's house and friends, on a bright sunshining morning like the present !

" and he made a faint attempt at a smile. Lilla held out her hand to him. He regarded her intently for an instant ; then pressing a hasty kiss on her forehead, he walked quickly from the room. Mrs. Howard followed him, and Charlie made his exit, in search of his breakfast, calling after his cousin, to say that he would soon return to England again, and then probably he would be a captain. Sorry comfort for the poor young officer, who was not to see his home for so many years. Lilla stood alone within the library. " Poor Frank !" she murmered, " I almost wish I had said some kind sentence to him before he left. I wonder if I do really love him or not ; he is certainly very fond of me, but I could never be satisfied to give him such a poor, cold love as mine in return ; besides, it will be an age before I shall see him again, and very probably we shall both forget each other.

I look for wealth, great talents, and a position in society too, when I marry, and Frank possesses neither, at least, not in a suffi ciently high degree to please me. I must look up to, and admire, my husband, and he must be above the generality of mortals." She pressed her hand to her brow tightly. "I won der if I shall ever find such a being in the world !" she murmured; "there must be some high, noble characters — they cannot be all imaginary ; but would they care for me ? I fear not ; my education was sadly neglected, although it was thought that I was so dili gently studying— and I am so young still." The voice of the old butler broke in upon her medi tations : " My mistress desires your attendance in the drawing-room, Miss Lilla." She rose hurriedly from the low seat on which she had thrown herself, brushed back the hair from her flushed cheeks and heated temples, and proceeded to join her mother.