With Rank and File; or, Sidelights on soldier life

Preface

. ALTHOUGH we as a nation are justly proud of our soldiers, and although their heroism on the battle-field and on ' Active Service ' is duly recognized and appreciated; yet but little of their true natures, of their thoughts, feelings and trials is perhaps generally understood. We are possibly too prone to think of the soldier (as opposed to the officer, though he too does not escape) as a coarse, licentious, hardened being, innocent of any of the finer feelings of our human nature, though brave and enduring on occasion. In the following ' Sidelights,' an effort, how ever feeble, has been made to draw a true picture of some of those of all ranks who have the honour to serve their Queen, and of their real characteristics ; to show that an element of pathos may frequently enter into their daily existence ; to let it be inferred that although many of the ' Rank and File ' may be coarse VI

PREFACE.

. and brutal, yet all sorts and conditions of men are to be found among them, and that many, possibly those most rough and most uneducated, are devoted, honest, deeply grateful for kind ness shown, and easily swayed by the gentle influences of comradeship and love. Of the stories in this book offered for the perusal of the public, three have already appeared in Regimental Magazines. They are now reproduced, corrected and, it is hoped, amended. The remainder are here printed for the first time. Arthur Amyand. CONTENTS. PAGE ' Clumps ; ' or, ' A Disgrace to the Corps ' . i Poor Valentine 55 'Slip' and 'Dandy' 75 The Black Devil 95 How He was Buried . . . . . . i37 Sister Nita l63 'CLUMPS' OR 'A DISGRACE TO THE CORPS.' An Incident in the History of H.M.'s — th Regiment. 'CLUMPS.'

Chapter I

"' CLUMPS ' is in for it again," said Watson, as he entered the regimental Ante Room, where half-a-dozen or so of his brother officers were, after a hard morning's work on the parade ground, awaiting with keen appetites the an nouncement that luncheon was ready ; for, although the regiment was quartered at Malta, it is by no means too hot in December to feel hungry at that station. " What's happened ? What did the Colonel say ? " they ask, with some excitement. Watson, who, to do him justice, was a good officer, but dearly loved to make himself im portant, (not a difficult matter, for he was senior subaltern), assumed a patronizing air and continued, " Well, you know what a confounded ass he made of himself on parade this morning ; B the Colonel has told him he won't stand it any longer, — and serve him right, too."

These remarks were received with general approval, the fact being that the — th Regiment was to be inspected by the General in two days' time, and, although its gallant and particularly smart Colonel held that his regiment was ready for inspection at any time, it had been thought advisable to put some of the younger officers through their facings that morning, and accordingly they had been called out to drill their companies. The unfortunate ' Clumps ' had made a terrible exhibition of himself. After having utterly failed in skirmishing and sundry other movements, he had been finally told to put his men through the bayonet exercise, with the result that he became hopelessly mixed, and was accordingly abruptly ordered to march his company back to its place on the parade ground. This he only accomplished by getting his rear rank men in front, whereupon he was informed that the Commanding Officer required his presence at the Orderly Room after parade.

George Masterson, or ' Clumps,' was a second lieutenant of some two years' service which may be described as two years of misery and failure. During this period he had become ' CLUMPS.' 5 an object of ridicule, annoyance, and consequent dislike to his brother officers. He was an uncouth, ungainly, untidy, yet powerfully made creature, with enormous feet and corresponding boots, and he walked with a peculiarly noisy heel-down-first-and-toe-afterwards kind of step, which gained him the name of ' Clumps ' before he had been with his regiment a single day. He was one of those people who are utterly incapable of doing anything right, no matter what they turn their hands to, and being at the same time of an extremely sensitive nature, the sufferings he went through were very great. One thing he learnt, however, very quickly; namely, to bear all the ridicule and jokes at his expense without complaint, and after a time without even showing how much he felt.

Clumps' up-bringing had been sadly neglected. His mother had died when he was quite a child, and his father had married again, a wife who ruled her husband completely, and who snubbed her stepson on every occasion ; while every possible favour, and all the affection of both parents, was lavished on her own children. Young Masterson was practically left to run wild at home till sent to a private school, but he eventually found his way into the army, after having spent a few months in solitude at a private tutor's. Intellectually, indeed, he was sharp enough, his sole consola tion being his books, but ordinary routine work was abhorrent to him, and he never could master the principles of drill. At the same time his nervous and sensitive nature, combined with lack of training, made him appear lament ably deficient in common sense, and in that sharpness and readiness which, under such con ditions, can only be gained by constant contact with others, and by an occasional word of friendly advice and sympathy.

It may thus be easily understood that when Clumps found himself suddenly in a smart infantry regiment he was utterly at sea. As time went on his disposition only made matters worse, and, realizing his deficiencies, he gradually became sulky and sullen. He was of good parentage, which was in his favour, but everything else about him gave rise to ridicule — his walk, his clothing, his ignorance of the ordinary courtesies of society ; and last, but not least, his absent-mindedness and nervousness, which were the chief cause of his inability to ever give a correct word of command on parade. It was frequently hinted to him that he must ' go,' as he was not ' up to — th regimental form,' ' CLUMPS.' 7 but the poor fellow did not know what to put his hand to if he left the regiment or service, while he was well aware that if he turned up at his home having taken such a step, his father would have nothing to say to him, and that his future would be worse than his present existence.

He there fore remained, mentally determining not to budge if possible, and thinking that if the worst came to the worst he could drown himself and so end his unhappy life. He began to see also that he was a laughing-stock to the men as well as to the officers ; and this was the unkindest cut of all, for he really loved his men, and, having had little sympathy in his life himself, would have done anything in his power to help any one of them or to show them any kindness. They were well aware of this ; but ' Tommy Atkins ' is keenly alive to ridicule, and resents deeply being made a fool of on parade or any where else through the incompetency of his officers ; and therefore, though the soldiers did not actually dislike him, they did not respect him, and ' Old Clumps' ' latest achievement on or off parade was among the commonest jokes in the barrack-room.

One of the men of his company there was, however — Private Williams — who would not hear a word said against him, and who was always ready to take up cudgels in defence of Clumps. This man, who was a fine, smart fellow, had been appointed his servant, and was a comparatively old soldier and a married man ; and he became his master's faithful friend and adviser, to whom, if Clumps ever did any thing right at all, such unwonted behaviour was almost certainly due. Their friendship began at once, for Williams commenced by taking his master in hand and telling him what to do, and Clumps was grateful and showed Williams many small kindnesses in return. A certain circumstance, however, served to strengthen the ties between them, and also to bring to the fore a trait in Clumps' character which was scarcely suspected by his brother officers.

The married quarters of Barracks, Malta, where the regiment was stationed, are outside the barrack gate, and there is a rough rocky road which, passing them, extends for some three hundred yards down an exceedingly steep hill till it meets the main road leading through the ramparts beneath. Some one had taken an open ' carrozze ' or four-wheeled carriage, such as is used in Malta, and kept it waiting outside these married quarters, rather round the corner, in the shade. The driver meanwhile, accord ing to the habit of the natives, got off the 'CLUMPS.' 9 box and went to sleep in the verandah. Williams' child, a fine boy just four years old, and another, a year or so older, the son of a sergeant in the regiment, were playing together, and eventually got into the carrozze without being noticed.

The pony moved off, quietly at first, down the aforesaid road ; then, alarmed by the children's cries, and finding itself uncon trolled, it increased its pace, and, breaking into a gallop, finally fairly ran away. At the bottom of the hill, right across the road and directly in the path of the carrozze, were drawn up a number of native carts laden with stones. The elder child, having climbed on to the seat, was thrown out by the carrozze bumping violently over a rough piece of ground, and escaped with a fright and a bruising ; but Williams' boy was still inside, when Clumps came providentially round the corner, just at the spot where all the carts were standing, and perceived the position of affairs. The carrozze was then coming madly down the hill towards him, between forty and fifty yards from the line of carts, and he knew that everything depended on him.

He rushed forward as quickly as possible to get space, and placed himself directly in the way, trusting to his strength, which was great. The pony saw him, wavered, then galloped on, but Clumps, who had sprung slightly on one side, succeeded in seizing him by the head. He was, of course, knocked down, but never loosed his hold, and he stopped the carrozze just before it reached the stone-carts, saving the child's life and spraining his own ankle. Williams never forgot this circumstance, and showed his gratitude by the utmost devotion and many a timely hint ; while his wife simply adored Clumps ever after, and went so far as to offer to do his washing for nothing. Clumps, on his part, reciprocated this affection and looked on Williams as his one real ally in the regiment. After this somewhat long digression, it will perhaps be remembered that we left Watson beginning to describe to a circle of attentive subalterns what had taken place in the Orderly Room when Clumps was summoned there after parade.

We must therefore direct the attention of our readers once more to the Regimental Ante Room. . " Well, go on, Watson, out with it," exclaimed one of his brother officers, as the above-named gentleman, having given vent to the expres sion, ' Serve him right,' had paused, whereby the general excitement in anticipation of some important information was considerably heightened. ' CLUMPS.' 11 " You fellows are in such a beastly hurry," continued Watson, " but if you must know all about it, I happened to be in the Orderly Room seeing about my leave, when in walks Clumps. After nearly tumbling over his sword, he came up to the CO.1 and made one of those ghastly attempts at a salute of his, looking a most awful fool. The Colonel, who was really in a deuce of a rage and fidgetting in his chair, told me to remain, just as I was going to leave the room. ' Fizzers ' was there too, of course !

" (' Fizzers ' was the Adjutant, so called from the enormous quantity of ginger-beer he was capable of consuming in the hot weather.) "Then the Colonel turned to Clumps and said, 'I must say a few words to you very seriously, Mr. Masterson. I have come to the conclusion that you do not suit the — th, and I am sorry to have to tell you that you ' " — the next words were uttered by Watson in his most imposing manner — "'must leave the Regi ment.'" " What ! you don't mean it ? " interrupted the admiring circle. " I do though," continued Watson. "What did Clumps say?" " Oh, he turned very white, and tried to say 1 Commanding Officer. something, but the CO. stopped him, and went on : ' I have not said this without consideration, Mr. Masterson, but you have been given every chance ' (and upon my word I think the CO. has been devilish good to him), ' and I have done all I can for you ; so has Captain French ' " (the Adjutant), " ' I'm sure he has had you out on the parade ground often enough ! ' " "I should think he had," said little ' Jinks,' the last joined, who was junior to Clumps, and had a sneaking pity and friendship for him.

" Shut up, Jinks, don't interrupt or you will be sat on," said one of the others. " When you fellows have done, I'll go on," said Watson, in a tone of annoyance ; then, after a dignified look round, during which silence was restored, he continued : " ' But it's no good, Mr. Masterson,' the Colonel said, ' you are perfectly useless as an officer, and it seems impossible to put any smartness of any kind whatever into you. The — th has never been accustomed to have inefficient officers, and such an one as you not only makes a laughing-stock of himself and of his Commanding Officer, and the regiment appear ridiculous to the rest of the garrison, but he lowers himself in the eyes of his men, which is most prejudicial to the proper maintenance of discipline. In addition, you do ' CLUMPS.' 13 not seem to be anything of a companion to your brother officers, (which is against the regimental feeling of the — th), and I do not wish to have any one in my regiment who is unsuited to his companions, or unhappy himself.

After your exhibition this morning I shall not require your presence on parade at the inspection on Thursday, and I shall explain to the General that I am obliged, much against my will, to report on you as inefficient.' "By this time Clumps was nervously twitching all over, and the Colonel, seeing the state he was in, said, ' If I can help you in any way, Mr. Masterson, I shall be happy to do so. You had better go and think the matter over. In what I have said, of course, I wish you to understand that I do not mean to cast any slur on your character, but am merely reflecting on your efficiency as an officer.' " " What did Clumps do then ? " " The best part's coming," continued Watson, with a superior smile. "Clumps came up nearer to the Colonel, and stammered out, ' Oh, sir, won't you allow me to stay ? ' ' No, sir,' said the Colonel, impatiently, ' I have made up my mind, and you must leave the regiment.

I can't keep an officer any longer who is a positive disgrace to the Corps ! ' ' " Hear ! hear ! Well done, good old CO. ! " chimed in the subalterns. " As soon as the Colonel had said this, you should have seen Clumps. He took a step back from the table, drew himself up, and looked utterly different. I had no idea he could look like that before. His eyes flashed, the colour came into his face, and raising his hand, he said in a clear voice, and what the deuce he meant I can't make out, — ' I will leave the regiment, sir, but you and my brother officers shall own, not as a disgrace, but as an honour to the corps.' "

Chapter II

" WELL, all I can say is that I am devilish sorry for poor Clumps," exclaimed little Jinks on the conclusion of Watson's narrative, " I think it's beastly hard lines." " What rot you are talking," rejoined one of the others, " he's a useless ass, and when he goes, it will be a d d good riddance. What good is a surly, muddle-headed fellow like that to us ? " " And if he is surly, who helped to make him so, I should like to know ? " retorted Jinks. " You've had a good share in it, I bet, Phillips. Why, you never give the poor beggar a moment's peace ! " " What do you mean ? " asked Phillips, angrily. " I mean that I've seen the way you always treat Clumps, and I remember the way you tried to treat me, only I wasn't going to stand it!" Now Phillips was by nature one of those not unfrequently met individuals, a regimental bully, and if he had dared, and had not belonged to a regiment that did not countenance such behaviour, he would have made the life of every last joined subaltern a hell on earth.

Though not popular, he was however supported by the rest of his brother officers in his treat ment of Clumps, the latter being so generally an object of ridicule. But when he tried to worry Jinks, he reckoned without his host. That astute young gentleman was possessed of an uncommonly sharp tongue of his own, and one day when Phillips tried to badger him, Jinks first informed him that he was per fectly aware ' what sort of chap ' he was, and that he had better mind his own business, and then he marched straight up into the Ante Room and told all the others what he had said. Being a cheery, gentlemanly young fellow, and having made a very favourable impression in the regi ment, little Jinks at once carried the day, and the tide of opinion was turned against Phillips, who never interfered with him again.

At the conclusion of Jinks' remarks, Phillips jumped up angrily, and was going to reply, when he was interrupted by Watson, who said authoritatively, " Oh, shut up, Phillips ; I'm not going to have ' CLUMPS.' 17 a row here, and as for you, Jinks, you've no business to give your opinion so freely. You ought to know that by this time." Lunch, which was announced at this moment, caused a diversion ; but Clumps had a greater friend in Jinks than he ever imagined. Meanwhile Clumps had gone back to his quarters in a curious frame of mind. He threw himself into a chair and tried to consider matters. " What did it all mean, and what had happened ? Yes ! there was no doubt about it ; he had been told to go, to leave the regiment, because he was ' perfectly useless.' " He looked back on the past two years, and could only see a long list of failures.

Somehow he had always done the wrong thing. How many times had he been corrected by the Colonel, sworn at by the adjutant, and made himself ridi culous before both officers and men! He had, however, tried hard, and he knew that the reason of it all was not that he did not know what to say and do, but simply that, given a parade-ground and a body of men depending on his words, he became so nervous that everything went out of his head. How often had this occurred ! Why ? why had he been created so differently to other people ? The Colonel had actually stig- C matized him as a ' disgrace to the corps ; ' and he then recalled his own prophetic reply, which had burst so spontaneously from his lips, that his Colonel and brother officers should own the contrary ere he left. ' A disgrace to the corps ! ' His blood boiled at the thought of it.

True, he hated drill, and made a hash of things, but was that disgraceful ? Certainly to be forced to leave the regiment implied disgrace. His own people would regard it as such, nor did he see the slightest chance of its being viewed differently by any other regiment into which he might en deavour to exchange. A disgrace ! It was a cruel, unjust term of opprobrium, and must be proved to be such. But how ? For the time was short. The Colonel would require him to send in his papers at once, and would probably give him leave immediately, pending the confirmation of his retirement at headquarters. A disgrace ! How much time was left him in which to make his Commanding Officer retract the words he had used, in which to change his and the other officers' opinion of him, — nay ! to convert that so-called disgrace into honour ?

A day and a half at most. He was to be on duty to-morrow ; on the following day was to be the inspection, on which day also the P. and O. boat sailed CLUMPS.' 19 for home ; no doubt he would be expected to go then. Time enough ! but how was it to be done ? And what strangely sudden influence had caused him to utter those words of self vindication with such conviction to his Colonel ? He could not guess ; only as he sat there the same prophetic feeling that had swayed him on that occasion again flooded his whole soul, and he felt perfectly confident that an opportunity would be given him. He felt that that God who had denied him so much love, sympathy, companionship, who had at the same time en dowed him with such a sensitive nature — that God, who had hitherto caused his existence to be one of failure and misery, was about to grant him one supreme favour which should be the crown ing moment of his life, and repay him for the past.

He got up from his chair and walked across the room, and caught sight of his face in the glass. He scarcely recognized himself. He stopped and looked again. He saw flushed cheeks and bright eyes, naturally enough caused by the excitement of all he had gone through ; but he also saw a greater change, which in deed he could not read, a change which was caused by an inborn consciousness of power that had suddenly possessed him, and which had stamped his countenance with an expres- C sion of force and self-reliance hitherto unknown to it. Yes ! In his heart he felt confident, he scarce knew of what, save that the path of honour would be surely opened to him ; and, mastered by this conviction, he now felt that he could endure to face his brother officers without shame, while a new-born spirit of peace and content shed rays of happiness into his soul.

Such was his frame of mind when he sat down to write his application to retire, and for leave pending retirement. He had just finished, when in came Williams, to whom he at once entrusted the letters for conveyance to the Orderly Room. Williams took the letters, eyeing them sus piciously ; then he looked at his master, and at once remarked the change in his appearance. He stood before him for a few moments, then said, saluting, " Beg pardon, sir, but isn't you well ? " Clumps blushed at this question, and answered nervously, "Yes, thank you, Williams, why ? " " Well, sir, I don't know, but it strikes me uncommon like as if you 'ad a touch of this 'ere Malta fever ! " " Nonsense, Williams, I'm all right ! " " Well, sir, 'scuse me, but your face do 'pear 'CLUMPS.' 21 to be so red like, and, I beg pardon, sir, but you looks different altogether."

" Why, what on earth are you talking about ? " answered Clumps. " There is no thing wrong with me." " You take my advice and go to bed, sir ; it's the only thing with this 'ere fever and aguey. I've 'ad it lots o' times, and I knows it well, worse luck. I'll send the doctor to you." " Humbug, Williams, I tell you, I'm all right. Will you please take those letters to the Orderly Room for me at once ? " Williams shook his head doubtfully, and re plied : " Well, I suppose you knows, sir, but if I ain't mistook, you'll be ill afore mornin' ; " then he hesitated, and, looking again at the letters suspiciously, continued : " These 'ere letters, sir, you'll 'scuse me axin' but is they all right ? " " Why, yes, of course ! Don't you think I am capable of writing an official letter yet, Williams ? " " I don't know, sir, but you does make mis takes, sometimes," replied Williams, gravely, having a vivid recollection of the battle he had re cently been fighting for his master in the barrack room, where Clumps had been coming in for a good round of abuse, on account of his morning performance and where the generally ex pressed opinion was that " that there Clumps ain't no good at all, and don't give a smart lot of fellows like we a bloomin' chance."

" But," continued Williams, mysteriously : " I don't mean that, sir; is they all right?" " What on earth do you mean ? " asked Clumps. Now, Williams was great friends with the orderly room clerk, who lived in the next set of married quarters to him, and although this individual had not been in the Orderly Room at the time of the Colonel's remarks, he had heard the whole thing through the door con necting that room with the one occupied by the clerks, which had been left slightly ajar. He had promptly communicated the fact to Wil liams, whom he had overtaken going home to dinner ; and though Williams had not sub sequently said a word about it, he knew that it would be all over barracks before night time. His mind was greatly disturbed at the circumstance, and with grief at the idea of losing his young master, whom he regarded with almost parental affection.

"Well, sir," went on Williams, "I've 'eard something, and you'll forgive me, sir, but I ' CLUMPS.' 23 'opes} as 'ow" it's a pack of flamin' lies, sir." With these words he edged nearer to Clumps at the table, and looked down on him with a look in which affection and indignation were clearly mingled. Clumps began to feel very uncomfortable, as he guessed that the unpleasant tidings were already spreading in the barracks. He could only say helplessly, "What is it you have heard ? " Williams hesitated ; then striking viciously with his fist on the table, exclaimed, " These 'ere damned blue letters (forgive the word ! sir), I 'ates'em. They only means trouble, — they always does, sir. Many and many a time 'ave I seen trouble come out of these 'ere bits of blue. Don't you write nothin' sir. Once written and sent to that there ' crime hole ' (the Orderly Room), maybe you won't be able to get 'old of 'em again.

Ribbons will pass 'em on quick enough, I'll lay a tanner." Ribbons was the name of the Orderly Room clerk, in whose power for good or evil, Williams, perhaps not wrongly, firmly believed. " I 'ain't often told you wrong, sir," he con tinued, "and I've been with you all the time as you 'as been in the regiment, and proud I is to say it, — and," whispering almost in Clumps' ear, " / knows all about it, sir, and what's in them blue envelopes. You take my advice, sir, don't you send 'em." " How on earth do you know anything about it ? " asked Clumps, half amused, yet touched at Williams' vehemence. " You'll mention it to no one, sir, will you ? but Ribbons 'eard it all, and told me at dinner time. I told my missus, and she took on somethin' orful ; she says she can't abear to think of your goin', — to say nothing of the washin'.

You take my advice, sir, and don't you send them letters," he repeated. " But what else can I do, Williams ? " " You go and see the Colonel, sir, and speak to 'im. He was a bit flustered like this morning ; for those damned fools ('scuse the word, sir !) in the company got into such a proper ' mix up.' It was all their fault, they never knows 'ow to take you, and so does it all wrong. Now /knows, sir" (Williams was the right-hand man of the company) " that if you says ' right,' you means 'left,' and if you says 'point' you means ' guard ' ; but they don't, and they won't foller me — the bloomin' idjots. It's my belief as 'ow they does it a purpose. No, you go and see the Colonel, sir, and speak to him friendly like, and it'll be all right. He don't really mean to ' CLUMPS.' 25 make you leave ; 'e thinks too much of you, sir. The Colonel's lady said so when she come to see my missus, after you saved my youngster, Johnny's, life ; she'd 'eard all about it from Mrs. Jones, and she said the Colonel would be proud to think as 'ow you'd done it ; and so 'e might be, sir. / shan't forget it, I can tell you."